Saturday, December 22, 2007

My sister, myself

I really ought to be cleaning right now. My house is a mess, and not in the way that my friends apologize for when I come over to their pristine houses. I mean that the guestroom my sister will be sleeping in tonight is currently uninhabitable. The floor and bed are indistinguishable beneath a sea of clothes.

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Ok, I started to write about how messy my house was and then realized I needed to not write, but clean. My house is still messy, but the guest room is at least close to inhabitable and I have nice fluffy towels, no shower scum and cold beer in the fridge. My sister should be arriving someday, though not necessarily today. I have very little faith that she will be able to run from plane to plane in 1/2 an hour.
As I've been cleaning I keep coming across random things that might freak my sister out. (Which, considering she is a lesbian who has all sorts of er...interesting..."things" laying about her place that I am totally fine with but that are a little awkward to happen upon...)
Although she knows that A_ has CBAVD but I didn't tell her we were trying. I had started to talk about ttc a couple months ago and she very kindly offered to give me her eggs or 9 months of womb space. When I explained it was A_'s issue, and we shouldn't have a problem with my womb (knock on wood), she was very relieved, although it had been sweet of her to offer. I think it might cramp her style a bit though, what with her wild singles life.
She then said something about us not trying yet and while I can't remember exactly what she said, it was very anti-having kids right now. I didn't correct her, though I'm not sure why. I don't think I'm ready to share my heartbreak with her.
I've always looked up to my sister and wanted to by just like her when I was a kid. I stole her clothes and her books and drove her crazy. I don't want her pity or her advice on not having kids though. After all these years of trying to be like her, I know her all too well and she would say all the wrong things.
So I am putting up the books and the articles I've printed out, folding up the maternity clothes I couldn't resist buying on clearance at Target back when I thought this would be easy, and taking the doctors appointment cards off the fridge. Out of sight, hopefully out of my mind. For a while at least.

2 comments:

  1. Hope you have a nice visit with your sister. There are definitely some people in my life that it's just easier to keep my IF from. They just don't get it or are unsympathetic.

    Merry Christmas!

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  2. I will echo Tracy's thoughts. I hope you have a lovely visit with your sister and that IF isn't a topic you two engage in while she's with you. Merry Christmas!

    And, as a small present, you've been tagged! :)

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