Friday, December 14, 2007

No more Lurky McLurkerson

So I've been lurking around other people's blogs for quite a while now. I've been cheering (silently) their successes, crying (I'm good at it) over their failures, and wishing I could join their club. (The blogging and being friends and supporting each other parts, not the infertility part - I think we have that down pat.)
So although I am lazy, lead a not-terribly interesting life, and don't even have much to talk about in terms of infertility, I hereby declare myself a blogger.!
My husband and I got married 3 1/2 years ago. My parents were initially less than happy. My husband A_ is a large, bald, black Muslim who is nine years older than me. My father would have been happy if I had become a nun in the Church. Luckily, they are both fans of the same baseball team, and if there's one thing Dad loves almost as much as Jesus, it's the Card*nals. They have since bonded and get along quite well.
We bought a little bungalow in the ghetto (Ok, it's not EXACTLY ghetto - it's more like inner city Appalachia. But I love the house, how close it is to downtown, and my fabulous gay neighbors. The methheads I could do without.)
I have been renovating and decorating (read: buying lots of crap at garage sales) it slowly for a couple of years and have a room that is just crying out to be a nursery. Which brings us to ttc.
We tried in a not trying-but-not-preventing sort of way for a year, tried in a trying-but-not-obsessing-over-temps-and-charting sort of way for a year, and tried in a damn-it-I decided-I'm-ready-for-a-baby-where-is-it-I-want-it-now sort of way for a year.
Then we went to a doctor who kindly told us that A_ has CBAVD (no vas deferens.)
So while I had been thinking he'd tell us that we'd have to move on to Clomid, IUIs, making sure my tubes weren't blocked, we got to skip to the head of the class: IVF w/ ICSI. A_ would also have to have MESA (microblahblahspermblahaspiration) so we could get some sperm out of him.
Oddly, I still feel like maybe we aren't infertile *enough* to bitch about it. I have read all of these other blogs and message boards and see people who have struggled for a long time. They have spent tons of time and money on other things before they even got to where we are getting. And they are sometimes worse off - I'm 26, so I have a better chance of having decent eggs to work with. I (probably, knock on wood, might be someday laughing bitterly at my naive self) don't think my body has any major issues. We KNOW what the problem is and how to fix it! We should be almost happy! (Ok, maybe not happy)
So I feel guilty about complaining. But hey, I'm Catholic. I gotta feel guilty about something, right?

One of the things that was stopping me from starting a blog is the fact that um, this shit costs money. Money that we do not have. So a lot of my blog is going to be about waiting.
How exciting for the readers!
Let the waiting begin!

1 comment:

  1. ha! we have a lot in common.. i'll be reading, i like your writing style.