What's worse than having your mother say things that are hurtful about you doing IVF?
Having a mother who decides to try to be helpful.
I love my mom, I do. But I do not want to discuss things like sex or babies or marriage with her. I just don't.
I went over to her house on Saturday to paint her hallway and she has decided she is going to try and help me with ttc. So she keeps inserting random things into the conversation as we paint:
"Mom, pass me that roller, please."
"Here you go. You know, I went on Snork."
"Yes, Snork" Mom is obviously pleased with herself. "Its a website where they debunk myths and things you get in the email."
"Snopes! Yes. Well, it said that it might be true that laptops lower sperm count, so A_ shouldn't put his laptop over his-"
"Ok, thanks Mom!"
Then as I am washing my hands she starts rustling through papers and unfolds a piece of paper and starts talking.
"You know, I was getting ready to see a fertility specialist when I got pregnant with you. I was charting my basal body temperature with this. See, here's my temperature rise...Oh! Here, I think this was you!"
And then she just... kept... talking... about things I don't want to hear.
Unfortunately, I am too old to put my hands over my ears and repeatedly yell "I can't hear you!"
Remind me, if ever I should pee on a stick, should that stick tell me I am pregnant, and should I decide to keep that pee stick as a reminder of the joyous occasion...REMIND ME never to show my children. Because that is weird.