Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Dear body

I am doing this for you, annacyclopedia...

Hey Body,
How ya' doing? It's been a while since I've spoken with you. As hard as it is to say, I wanted to tell you I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about all those months I cursed you because you had me convinced that it was going to be *the* month. All that perfectly timed, welcoming cervical mucus, leading me to believe all I needed to do was have sex. I just assumed that with all the talking you do to A_'s body, you would have mentioned that he wasn't a good at sharing.
I'm sorry about feeding you crappy food. I know that cake and pasta and diet coke aren't very good for you, but I just get so sad sometimes. I need you to be full, and so I eat and eat until you are bursting. And still I am hungry. I just didn't realize that food won't satisfy that kind of hunger.
I'm sorry about not getting enough exercise. We were doing so well for a while there, and it is totally my fault that it all stopped. It's just that my bed is so darn comfortable. It's so easy to curl up in the cocoon of blankets and sleep through reality. Plus, it's been cold out. Not my fault, that.

I'm also sorry for not moisturizing enough, for picking at your scabs, for all those paper cuts. I'm sorry for stubbing your toe. I'm sorry for not getting more massages. I'm sorry for last St. Patrick's Day, though you have to admit it was fun until about 7pm. I'll go easier on you this year, but if you could just let the liver know to be prepared, that would be great. I mean, I still have to celebrate a *little* bit.

Look, I know I haven't been the best. But if you maybe work with me a little, I promise that eventually I'll get you what you keep asking for. You physically ache when I think about having a child. I can feel you swelling, wanting so badly to carry another life, to nurture. I want the same thing, it's just going to take a little while.

Hang in there, we'll talk again soon.

Love,
Io

12 comments:

  1. Sweet, very sweet and as always thought provoking and makes me want to give myself a hug.

    Very cool Io. I'm happy to know you and have you in my blog world :-)

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  2. This made me weepy.
    I was just telling my mom that I feel bad for my body because it has to suffer through these drugs and it hasn't done anything wrong.

    Let's hope it's all worth it in the end.

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  3. Yeah, I owe my body a gazillion apologies for various uh, shall we say, alcoholic indiscretions on my part.

    As little as it changes the situation for you as a couple, I'm glad you've found some peace with your body. I just feel how you appreciate the blessing that all is well. And that is a beautiful thing.

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  4. Great letter.

    But I'm sure your body loves the bed, too.

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  5. I love it! You're such a good writer - you have that great ability to just sound like a normal person talking when you write, but at the same time you always sound like the cool girl I want to be. Plus it's so from the heart - I was getting a bit misty reading this.

    And I do generally avoid eggs even in baked goods, but there is the best trick I've learned to replace eggs. I will post a recipe right away so you can check it out.

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  6. Io, as always, this is an awesome post. I'm so glad you share your thoughts with us. They are funny, touching, thought-provoking, and engaging. As an English teacher who regularly reads writing that has none of those qualities, I so appreciate your blog posts!

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  7. very kind. I would probably have to apologize to my body for all of the booze as well (and erm, drugs of the less than legal variety and the sluttiness, etc.). This was very nice. I haven't yet gotten myself to the place where I'm quite ready to write it, but I will soon.

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  8. Heh. I forgot about the sluttiness. I think my body enjoyed that though.

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  9. Awesome post. Thank you for sharing so freely - your posts are so helpful to so many. shauna

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  10. You remind me of me. Except the diet coke. I used to do leaded, until I abandoned caffiene (excluding chocolate, I've decided).

    I keep lieing to my body, telling it that I will get my shit together tomorrow. But tomorrow never comes. Sigh...

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  11. GREAT letter...thanks for doing this. I posted mine a few days ago.

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  12. I LOVE this post! I have the same conversations with my body. I laughed out loud at the part about St. Patricks Day (sounds fun to me!)

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