Saturday, April 12, 2008

Ug

I am t.i.r.e.d.

Luckily, we canceled campaign work last night, so I had the night off and could enjoy the party at the uni*n hall. There is a big convention every year in town and the L0cal has a party with free beer, food, a band and a pump*r pull. It was so nice to be able to not be working so I had several beers.
Of course this morning I had to go work on the campaign again. Got home at 6:15pm. Tomorrow I have the morning off but wont be home until 7pm.
I just need to make it to M*y 6.
I just need to make it to M*y 6.
I just need to make it to M*y 6.
I just need to make it to M*y 6.
I just need to make it to M*y 6.

Oh, and a friend of mine wrote and told me she was moving back to town. I hadn't talked to her in forever and was pretty excited. I wrote her back that we needed to go out for a drink. She replied:
"hey thanks for the invite...but no drinking for me! i'm having a BABY!!!!!! So lets meet up and do something else.....b/c I just can't see people drinking and smoking b/c I get sad and desperate and that is not healthy hahaha....MISS YOU!"

I got this while sitting in the office and seriously felt like I had been punched in the stomach.
I shouldn't be working my butt off. I should be pregnant.

Suddenly I am thankful I am so busy: I have no time to hang out right now.
Edit: I'm happy for her, it was just such a surprise. And a reminder of what I am trying to forget I don't have.

16 comments:

  1. Ug is right! I'm glad you got to hang out & enjoy your night off- & now I am glad you are too busy to hang out with your friend too! (not really - but you know what I mean) It really does feel like a physical gut punch. I'm sorry.

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  2. Sometimes it's the weekends that are the hardest to get through, because I am not consumed with work. My mind is allowed to wander (wonder? I'm tired too.).

    People just really have no clue. There was a time when I thought we'd get pregnant, no problem, and I dreaded eating well for the pregnancy. Now, I look forward to it. Someday...

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  3. Ack. I hate those types of announcements. Always knocks me flat on my a$$. Sorry for such a crappy piece of news ...

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  4. Yep. The announcements that come when you least expect it are like sucker punches to the gut. They're really hard to shake off.

    The day after Cinco de Mayo will be here soon! You're a trooper for all that extra work you're doing. I hope you're enjoying every minute of it.

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  5. I'm glad you had such a good time last night! M*y 6 will be here before you know it. ;-)

    That's great for your friend, but this would probably be my response to her (if it were me...but i'm a little bitchier than i used to be): "hey congrats on the baby...but i have lots of drinking to do! i'm NOT having a baby!!!!!! So lets not meet up and do something else.....b/c I just can't see people pregnant b/c I get sad and desperate and that is not healthy hahaha....MISS YOU!"

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  6. That is one reason why I purposely avoid getting in contact with old friends. Actually just tonight on our way home, my husband and I both agreed we don't have fun with friends anymore and should begin to spend more time with family. We are getting pathetic and old.

    Stay busy with work and avoid the pregnant one. At least until you can be pregnant with her!

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  7. You have the craziest work schedule. I am not trying to defend your friend, but just wondering what would have been a more appropriate way to tell you? I get that complaining about 'not being able to drink or smoke' is a bit excessive, but wouldn't you rather she told you in a n e-mail than you meet up with her and she has an enormous bump and you have to adjust to it right there. Just wondering.

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  8. I know the punched in the stomach feeling.

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  9. Having to hear about a pregnancy is like being stabbed in the gut. Boo. I would also be too busy to hang out. You just do what you need to do.

    At least you are busy. I know being ridiculously busy has saved my ass on more than a few occasions.

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  10. Totally normal reaction. I still feel that "punched in the gut" feeling.

    Hope you get some rest soon...

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  11. I know that feeling SO well- I call it my "heart ping" and it has never gotten any easier. It's just a reminder of what I don't have. It hurts. I've yet to find anyone dealing with chronic IF who does not have a hard time with those announcements.

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  12. Dude. You are a ROCKSTAR. How you do it I just don't know...

    As far as your friend, yeah. I can totally feel for you with that one. I watched as all my childhood friends got married or paired up and got pregnant (some on purpose, some not...). It's weird to be the only married person from my high school group who does not have children. And frankly, half of the unmarried ones have kids as well. So, it's me and the pathetic uggos from high school who haven't reproduced yet. Oh, well. I guess I'm just saying that I feel for you.

    Just wait for May 6th. You are going to feel like you have all the time in the world when that day rolls around. Just wait. Less than one month to go...

    And after that, I think we need to hang out sometime so that we can have practice conversations wherein you say NO to people, okay?

    Heh, maybe I can come to Indiana in mid-May. H's mom is going to be here and I don't exactly like her a lot (she's okay, but she really gets on my nerves, since H is an only child and she totally babies him all the time. Very irritating.)

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  13. Work can be a blessing, for more reasons than one. For me, it not only keeps me busy, it reminds me (when I'm doing a decent job of it) that I still have self-worth. IF makes me feel like such a failure. Being able to work my butt off reminds me that I'm not.

    I'm glad you were able to use work to get out of seeing your old friend. And I'm sorry that yet again, IF has stolen from you. This time it was your excitement at hanging out with an old friend. What next?

    By the way, I think you rock. I could never survive what you're doing right now, and it's SO what this country needs. I hope that's making you feel good about yourself.

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  14. YAY - An update from Io... May 6h will be here before you know it.

    Sorry to hear about the news, you're right - you should be the one pregnant.

    I hate getting other people's announcement news, you are supposed to be happy but really you just feel iike shit and want to cry (or maybe that is just me?) At least the news came by email and didnt have to break out the happy "I'm lying out of my ass right now" face.

    Hang in there!

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  15. I know exactly what you mean. It's not that we're not happy for them... It just always takes us by surprise and it seems like every pregnancy announcement is replaying our IF diagnosis all over again.

    *hugs*

    We'll get there.

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  16. I hate those emails/announcements. So much. I'm glad you're distracted from it somewhat by work, but that must have been hard.

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