Friday, June 27, 2008

My feet hurt like a mofo

It's been a long 24 hours.
Last night a friend of mine called me, upset about her husband. He's one of those people who is a nice enough guy to be friends with, but really when you get down to it, is an inconsiderate d*uchebag. I really think my friend is far, far too good for him and can't believe the crap she puts up with. I know she wants kids, but she won't have kids with him because he can't handle being a father. I guess she is hoping he will change.

So he pulled some of his usual shit last night and I talked to her about it and told her she shouldn't put up with it, that she should say something. She's very quiet and I think she doesn't stand up for herself enough. Well, apparently she was listening because she called me a couple hours later, crying and sitting in her car.
So she came over and spent the night. She's home tonight, but they haven't dealt with anything. I hate being in that place of trying to be supportive of what she decides, but wanting to tell her to just leave that worthless sack of shit. Who cares if you love him? What good is that love if all it does is hurt you and hold you back?
How do you walk that line with your friends?

Since I had my doctor's appointment at 10, I stayed home in the morning and we sat and had coffee and talked a bit. I went to the doctor's office, only to be told that my doctor had called in sick.
Gee, thanks for letting me know.

The check in lady said the next available appointment with my doctor was July 25.
My GP is great - she takes a lot of time with her patients, is very kind, also likes to deliver babies. But she teaches at the med school and just practices a couple days a week. So it can be hard to get in to see her. And, oh yeah, my insurance is gone starting July 1.
Of course, being tired and feeling emotional from all my talking with above friend, I started to get teary and whispered that Monday was my last day with insurance. The check in lady looked at me with such sympathy that I felt even more pathetic. She asked if I was sure, since I had *just gotten* this insurance. I nodded and squeaked out "My husband got fired." I felt so pathetic, but:
She got me an appointment on Monday. Go check in lady.

Finally I made it to work, where I ran around until 3pm. We had a groomer come to the office and give Betty and the Charlie summer haircuts. They both lost half their size and are now very skinny looking. I will have to post a picture later.
After they were finished, I ran around helping put together a r*verse raffle for the local p@rish church. (A r*verse raffle is where everyone gets their name and number put on the wall and the cards are taken down one by one. The last ten people stand up and decide if they want to split or keep going. Usually, they keep going.) The priest there is a total sweetie, but he FUCKED everything up with the tickets and I had a bitch of a time fixing it. The other woman helping me agreed that G*d might forgive killing a priest in this instance.
The raffle was won by a nice girl who is very very pregnant. The last raffle we held she had just announced her pregnancy.
Happily, although she can't drink the champagne she also won, I could drink the beer.

Thursday, June 26, 2008


When NCLM started, I thought it would be crazy easy - after all, I already left more than five comments a day - but somehow I still feel like I've run a marathon. Too bad it doesn't burn calories. However, as a wonderful bonus, I've added many new friends that I read now because they came over and left a comment. Yay us!

Nothing much happening over here in my world. My big sis (once again, may I make a pitch - anyone know cool single lesbians in Se@ttle? My sister is very pretty, smart, funny, and makes yummy cupcakes...) was in town for work so I picked her up last night and we went up to the parentals for dinner. They were very happy to see her and we had a nice dinner. It seemed kind of funny to be eating salmon in the Midwest when she had just come from the Pac NW though.
My mother always insists on giving garden tours so we went around. I get one once a week. Seriously. Some new things bloom, but mostly it's the same stuff that was there the week before. But this week we hit my favorite part of summer - the raspberries are ready! I need to go up this weekend with some big containers so I can fill up on red and black raspberries. So spoiled, I know.

After we had dinner, my sister and I went to watch SYTYCD with my boys M and B, who had just gotten a dog. M and B are crazy for their new dog. She's an overweight m*niature p*ncher and she is very sweet. I'll be bringing the Charlie over to meet her soon. It was a great evening - M, B, their straight neighbor (who we have converted! the dancing. It's very cute. He and my sister got to crush on the girls together), another friend H, my sister (blogging as we watched), and then a neighbor and his two kids stopped by. It was madness and quite fun.

(For those of you who watch - last night was hard! The last two dances were awesome and I had to vote for them, but the people I love were only so so! I am developing serious love for Mark though. Who will be in the bottom three tonight?! Who will go home?! Duhn duhn duuuuuuuuuuuuh!)

Tomorrow I have my pap. Hopefully my period goes the hell away. I generally have two days of really heavy flow and then the lightest flow ever for another two days. Today's the last of the light days. Since my insurance goes kaput on Tuesday, I really need to get this done though. So hopefully a possible bit of residual blood won't cause problems.
I still haven't done my paperwork, but it's been a busy week. I'll finish it this weekend or ship it off to all the crazy (I love you!) people who commented to say they love paperwork. Kara, you can come do paperwork and dishes ANY TIME.

Monday, June 23, 2008

YAWN. Mondays come way too quickly. Sunday should have lasted much longer.
I was busy at work all day and now I am lazily watching Law & Order and watching A clutch his stomach and pretend to be shot every time our neighbors shoot off another firecracker, but...
I really need to start filling out the additional ED paperwork the local clinic sent me today.

Thirty pages of it.

Lalala...lalala...I have no problem with sticking a needle in my belly, but all that paperwork? Blah. I know once I get started it won't be so bad.
Maybe tomorrow.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

See food

My show and tell is boringish...

I am terribly lazy. Instead of going out and doing something interesting that I could then come back and blog about, I haven't left the house today. So the most interesting thing that has happened was A making dessert.
Strawberry blintzes - crepes with some cream cheese mixture and strawberries and cool whip, rolled up. Then topped with more strawberries, a drizzle of creme fraiche and a sprinkle of powdered sugar.
My picture is terrible, but believe me, it was the perfect sweet and creamy, but not-too-sweet with a touch of sharpness piece of heaven.

In other news, Charlie has discovered a new trick. He gets down to the ground and shimmies under furniture. He's been getting under the tv and the couch.
The problem of course, is that he is then stuck and can't get out. (Edit: That's his nose on the far right. Please excuse my filthy floor.)
Poor Charlie. Once again, I laughed and took a picture before coming over to help him.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Let me eat cake

I don't think anyone has ever managed to snag a baby shower gift at Babies R fuckfuckfuckUs as fast as I did today. On my way to J's shower I ran in to pick up her gift. You know I doubt there is a *good* time to go to BRU, but 2pm on a Saturday is quite possibly one of the worst times.

My god.
It's like Shaun of the Dead, where they need to cross the street to the pub and there are hundreds of zombies walking around bumping into each other and they have to manage to get past them, only instead of zombies there were all these pregnant women clogging up the aisles and you couldn't get anywhere without having to skirt around the bump. Only Sean of the Dead was funny.

I grabbed the registry, kept my eyes to the ground, and shoved it into the hands of the first employee I saw. I jabbed my finger at the first thing I saw in my price range and said "this."

I think she might have been scared of me since I looked like the rainman, all cocked head and averted eyes. Regardless, she ran over to the wall, grabbed the item (baby bottles as it turned out, not that I could tell from the registry) and I speed walked over to the register. After I got there and was about to pay I realized I had forgotten to get a bag. I told the cashier to hold on and ran over to the bags, grabbed one and ran back.
Was I rude and holding up the line? I.don'

I went in at 2:06. I was in the car drivig away at 2:13. That included printing the (ten fucking page) registry. That's right pregnant fertiles. I'd like to see you move so fast. Bitches.
(Pregnant infertiles, I love you and go ahead and take your time. You've earned it.)

I am glad I went to the shower even though it was painful (and would have been even if I was happily spitting out babies.) J's MIL was hosting and the vast majority of guests were her friends, most of whom J was meeting for the first time. That seemed weird to me, but then what do I know? I haven't ever had a baby shower. I was the only old friend of J's there, so I'm glad I showed up even though I didn't know anyone.
It was pretty typical - games, little tiny foods, (fancy fucking pink designer) cake. I won some soap as a prize in one of the games. I tried not to stab my eyeballs out while all the women laid their babies out in front of me and started cooing and then I really had to hold my fork hand down when women started telling their labor stories. As my left hand was starting to shake with the effort of keeping my fork-holding right hand down, I said my goodbyes and escaped.


Thursday, June 19, 2008


Made a curry tonight that we'll eat tomorrow after it's had a day to settle. Instead we're having salad. I've also started a spreadsheet with my food/calories because with all the stress of the past month I have gained back every freaking pound I had lost. So much for size 12. Sigh. I need to treat my body better than I have this past month. No more comfort eating.

Though I may be stuffing some cake in my mouth tomorrow to keep from crying. I reserve that right. I'm supposed to be going to the baby shower for my friend J. The one who got pregnant while doing all sorts of drugs and drinking. The baby appears to be just fine and dandy though, which of course I am happy about. Just really fucking skeeved that I can't get pregnant no matter how much coke I snort. (No I am not snorting coke. In fact, I'm not even drinking soda anymore.)

Fuck it.
I'll do a meme I saw Queenie did over at Baby, Borneo or Bust. I've done the ones in bold.

Bought everyone in the bar a drink
Swam with wild dolphin
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Been inside the Great Pyramid
Held a tarantula
Taken a candle lit bath
Said I love you and meant it
Hugged a Tree
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightening storm at sea
Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game
Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Touched an iceberg
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby’s diaper
Taken a drip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower
Gotten drunk on champagne
Given more than you can afford to charity
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
Had a food fight
Bet on a winning horse
Asked out a stranger
Had a snowball fight
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
Held a lamb
Seen a total eclipse
Ridden a rollercoaster
Hit a home run
Danced like a fool, not caring who watched
Adopted an accent for an entire day (bad idea to start dating somebody you meet that day, btw)
Actually felt happy about your life, even for a moment
Had two hard drives for your computer
Visited all 50 states
Taken care of someone who was too drunk
Had amazing Friends
Danced with a Stranger in a foreign country
Watched wild whales
Stolen a sign
Hitchhiked in Europe (Kind of. And it's a bad idea.)
Taken a road-trip
Gone rock climbing
Midnight walk on the beach
Gone sky diving
Visited Ireland
Been heartbroken longer than you were in love
In a restaurant sat at a stranger’s table and ate with them
Visited Japan
Milked a cow
Alphabetized your CDs
Pretended to be a superhero
Sung karaoke
Lounged around in bed all day
Posed nude in front of strangers
Gone scuba diving
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Played in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
Toured ancient sites
Taken a martial arts class
Played a computer game for more than 6 hours straight
Gotten married
Been in a movie
Crashed a party
Gotten divorced
Gone without food for 5 days
Made cookies from scratch
Won first prize in a costume contest
Ridden a gondola in Venice
Gotten a tattoo
Rafted the Snake River
Been on television news program as an “expert”
Got flowers for no reason
Performed on a stage
Been to Las Vegas
Recorded Music
Eaten shark
Had a one-night stand
Gone to Thailand
Bought a house
Been in a combat zone
Buried one/both of your parents
Been on a cruise ship
Spoken more than one language fluently (no, but lots of languages poorly)
Performed in Rocky Horror
Raised children (Kind of. I was a live in nanny)
Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
Picked up and moved to another city
Walked on the Golden Gate Bridge
Sang loudly in the car and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
Had plastic surgery
Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have
Wrote articles for a large publication
Lost over 100 lbs
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Piloted an airplane
Petted a stingray
Broken someone’s heart
Helped an animal give birth
Won money on a TV game show
Broken a bone - does my big toe count?
Gone on an African safari
Had a body part below the neck pierced
Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol
Eaten mushrooms gathered in the wild
Ridden a horse (bareback! I used to exercise a friend's horse and usually rode bareback. The best.)
Had major surgery
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Slept for more than 30 hours over 48 consecutive hours
Visited more foreign countries than US States
Visited all 7 continents
Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
Eaten Kangaroo meat
Eaten sushi
Had your picture in the paper (when I was in third grade and won a prize for an invention. I wore a lilac corduroy skirt/vest combo with a frilly blouse.)
Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
Gone back to school
Petted a cockroach
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read the Illiad
Selected one important author who you missed school to read
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Skipped all of your school reunions
Communicated with someone without sharing a common language
Been elected to public office - I don't suppose Speech Team Captain counts?
Written your own computer language
Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
Had to put someone you love in hospice care
Build your own PC from parts
Sold your own artwork to someone that didn’t know it was yours
Had a booth in a street fair
Dyed your hair
Been a DJ
Shaved your head
Caused a car accident
Saved someone’s life (Sort of. I was lifeguarding and it wasn't close or anything.)

Save me from myself

I'm trying to convince myself that dying my hair platinum and cutting it short like Mia Michaels' (one of the choreographers on So you think you can dance. I have a mad crush on her.) has right now is a bad idea. BAAAAD idea. (I'd show you a picture, but all the pics I see of her online are her old hair, which is not at all what I am wanting.)
Somebody please stop me.


I had the pleasure of meeting up with another blogger last night for dinner. I won't say who since I didn't ask if I could name drop (you are all celebrities in my mind), but it was quite exciting. It is a little weird meeting somebody in person, especially since I end up blabbering nervously about stupid things, but she didn't run away screaming at least. She was very cool. And nice.
I'm always a little shocked to find that bloggers are real live people. It's kind of wild that you all don't just exist inside my computer.
(Edit: I can name drop! It's Mel from Indyness! She is super cool and you should all be jealous that I got to meet her.)

Now if I could just somehow get you all together and we could have a mad party and hang out.


Anyone know anything about buying individual health insurance? COBRA is apparently costing $1200 a month, so I am thinking about buying my own high deductible insurance in case I get hit by a car or something. I really never need to go to the doctor and I don't take any medicine, so it seems mad that to pay so much for something I don't really use. For anything small I can go to the doctor I used to work for. Is this a stupid idea?

EDIT: I think my brain was in a rut this morning. I used "mad" in each section. How mad of me.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Monday, June 16, 2008

Is it really only Monday?

Today has fucking sucked.

Work has just been slightly overwhelming and I don't feel like being there.

My car needs almost $700 in repairs. I know it could be much worse (whew - thank goodness it wasn't my transmission) but it's still a lot of money. But what can you do? Sadly, I need my car.

The split egg donation thing probably won't happen. It's $300 for the consult over the phone, I don't know if after that I would even get picked, and then more importantly, there is still probably five grand I'd have to come up with to do the cycle. On top of missing work and traveling and A not even looking for a job until after the bar in over a month, I just don't think I can do it. So yeah. No hope there. I need to turn in some more stuff for the regular egg donor cycle. I need to just put off thinking about mine and think about maybe helping somebody else first.

(Kids pictured below. Extremely cute ones.)

We had a good Sunday though. We went to Sikeston, MO to meet up with A's family and that was really nice. A is the oldest in his family, followed by three sisters and one brother. The youngest is 18 years to the day younger than A and still in high school. His oldest sister is wonderful, despite being a total fertile. She has five kids. 11, 6, 4, 2,and 1. As soon as she heard we had a serious fertility problem she offered to be a surrogate if we needed it. (She didn't know what the issue was.) She is incredibly sweet and sassy and I know if she could help in any way she would.
I keep trying to convince SIL and her hubby to move here to Indy so that I can see them all the time. N here wanted to sit with me at lunch. At one point she hugged my side and started pouting. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I miss you." She said she wanted to come back with me. She does this every time we visit, so I wonder if she's old enough to come stay with us for a week. I took her big sister for a week when A was out of town a few years ago and we had a blast. I'd take any of the kids - they are the best in the world.
(No, this handsome man is not A, it's my BIL.)

Don't forget to check out the Vet Mafia Bloggers if you haven't already! Everyone is welcome.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Wanna join?

You wanted to join up against the fertiles? In such a way that won't get you shot or shanked? (Edit: You know, at least more than your injectables and bad blood draws.)

Click it.
You know you want to.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Show and Tell way down into the post

My god, people! The excitement! What may *seem* like mundane details of my life are actually awe inspiring nuggets of goodness...
Or not. Whatever. It's my blog and I'll wah blah blah if I want to.

I walked into the bank yesterday and with my first step fell flat on my face. I mean FLAT. My face was touching the carpet and my knees had the skin rubbed right off. There were of course more people in the bank than I have ever seen before. One of the tellers called me right over despite my not being the next person in line and everyone warily backed away to let me through. I had no shame about cutting. These people seemed to think it was weird that my response to slamming into the floor was to laugh hysterically, so I figured it was best I left and let them go about their normal-person lives without me.


I also scheduled my pap and left a message with records requesting that they let me know what blood type I am. I don't know if I should wait to schedule my consult until I have all the results or not, so I'll call the DE coordinator on Monday to figure that out.


Last night I went to see the SATC movie. I had never seen an episode of the show and had heard about the crappy IF plotline, but I had promised my friend B that we would go out and I knew she really wanted to see it.
I guess it was ok. I'm not really a movie snob - I helped found a film festival a few years ago, but I am just as happy watching a trashy romcom as a prison drama from Iran. It was kind of on the crappy end of trashy though. The outfits were fun. And when it got to the line about "my doctor said people get pregnant after they adopt teeheeehhehhehehehehgigglegiggleawwwwwww" I was prepared. I let out a huge HYUMPH! just to let other audience members know that that was BULLSHIT and NONSENSE. Or perhaps they just thought I was choking on my malted milk balls.
After getting to bed late, my mother called at toogaddamnearly this morning to get me up and moving for the garage sales. We didn't go last week because Indiana was drowning in the death storms that have been sweeping the Midwest. (Amazingly, our house has not flooded or lost power. We haven't had any trees down either. We are incredibly lucky - many around us have been devastated.)

We got off to a slow start with the sales...I got a few little things, but nothing terribly exciting. The first exciting thing was a lime green Le Creuset tagine that was brand new for $10. That went to my friend Jen who had joined us for the day. She had wanted one and was thinking about asking for one for Christmas. No more, no more. Now she has an obscure and expensive piece of cookery that matches her kitchen.

I didn't get too much, but I did hit the jackpot at one house - the seller had lots of nice clothes in my size. She'd lost a lot of weight so basically her entire wardrobe was for sale. And she was apparently quite the clotheshorse. I got a *ton* of hardly worn clothes, all with nice labels. She gave me a very generous bulk discount too - I think she was just happy to get rid of them. I also bought a couple of purses from her - a cute blue one and a brand new fake LV one. The LV even came with the little outer bag to keep it in. I'm not sure what I will do with it as it's not really my style, but for five bucks, I figured somebody would want it as a present. I will put it in my "Look! It's-cool-and-new-but-I-don't-need-it" closet.

Charlie likes it but it is either way too big or not big enough for him.


Tomorrow we head off to the land of misery. Or perhaps it is Missouri. Either way, because my car is crappity we will be driving with A's brother and his girlfriend in A's VW Golf. A teeny tiny car. For five and a half hours. We will go eat lots of delicious food, see a million family members including my brilliant and beautiful nieces and nephews, and then turn around and drive back. I may be skipping out on commenting, so I promise to comment like mad come Monday.


T at Tea and Secrets asked how I would feel if I got chosen as an egg donor and then didn't have my own biological child. A couple of other people irl have asked this too. I imagine I'll be asked this in a psychological screening. I don't really feel any connection with my eggs. Ideally I want my own biological child. And I will be devastated if it doesn't happen. (And then I imagine I will dust my butt off and move on to adoption and have children I love more than life itself and be happy.) But a child that just comes from my eggs doesn't seem like it would be mine. So I'm sure I would be jealous if the other woman got pregnant and I didn't, but I honestly don't think it would be much more than just general jealousy. Probably a little bit different, but not much.
I feel like people expect me to be more concerned about it though.


Keep your eyes peeled for something kickass on Monday biznatches.
Some of my peeps and I have been working on something.
And we're going to want you to be a part of it.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Another day in the exciting life of Io

I know you've all been looking forward for another exciting installment of say, what I had for breakfast. And I would so hate to disappoint you.

Right before I walked out the door this morning I had some cereal. It was almond honey bunches of oats with soy milk on top. It was slightly stale.

Thank you. I will pause and allow you a moment to gasp in wonder at the awesomeness of my gastronomic adventures.

In other exciting news, my car has decided to start acting up. I have an appointment on Monday to bring it in. We go to a fantastic garage run by these old German guys who I think are generally pretty straightforward about what's wrong with your car. I'm hoping it's something simple and easy and (relatively) cheap, but in the back of my mind I have a terrible feeling my transmission might be going.
In the meantime, A_ gets to drive me everywhere. I am pathetically unable to drive a stick shift, so I can't just borrow his car. We discussed this fact briefly when he bought it because his last car was also a stick shift I couldn't drive. But he got a really good deal on this particular car that he couldn't pass up. Poop. I suppose I could try and learn, but
A) I am hardly capable of chewing gum and walking at the same time. I hated piano and took up brass instruments because there are only three keys. I understand there is something called a clutch in addition to having to move the stick while I drive. I like to think I am a fairly bright girl, but my brain seems to shrink at the prospect of both shifting and steering.
B) With our luck so far this year I would try and learn, only to crash his car. And then we would be car-less in the ghetto of a city that has been ranked with some of the worst (read: nonexistent) mass transit in the country.

So here's hoping my car just needs something small.

In other, other exciting news, I got a letter back from the donor coordinator at C**per. I need to go get an updated PAP and find out my blood type. (Do people know their blood types? I know I've heard it before from giving blood, but I don't remember it. I know my dad is Type O neg, so I know I'm not AB at least.) Then I need to call and set up a consult, for which they charge. I'm hoping it's not too much. I don't want to spend $200 while I'm trying to conserve money, to get on a list I might never be picked from. We will see.


And because I know you care, I wanted to give you a sneak peek at lunch - I will be dining on a pastrami sandwich with a side of string cheese.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Fertiles vs. Infertiles

My darling husband does not understand my blogging. And he thinks you, yes you, are just as weird as I am. I just said something about Mel and called her an infertile (he was thinking I was talking about one of our friends - um, no, *she* got knocked up the first month she tried) and he started laughing. Apparently when you start talking about fertiles vs. infertiles it starts sounding like a prissy gang war.
For the record, in case any of you fertiles are reading and thinking about making a move, just know- I will cut a bitch.

Edit: I forgot - a few people asked for the cake recipe. I just used boxed white cake mix. Once it was out of the oven I poked a million holes with a chopstick and poured a mixture of one can of coconut milk and one can of sweetened condensed milk over it slowly. I put it in the fridge for eight hours and then covered it in whipped cream. The whipped cream had some powdered sugar and vanilla in it. Then I threw some toasted coconut on that. Yum.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

A few small things in one loooong post

I will probably never tell my father about our IF. Although I love him and he loves me, we are not the same. He is very Catholic. I mean, I'm *kind of* Catholic. At least I feel guilty a lot, even if my church attendance is spotty.
But my father is very Catholic. Like the postal service of believers, nothing will keep him from going to mass. He's missed only three Sundays of church in his life, each time because he was in the hospital. He has several church groups that meet each week, he volunteers for the St. V*ncent de Paul regularly, he tithes unfailingly. He's also very committed to the pro-life movement. Which, you know, is fine. But he's hard core. He has the freaking license plate. (I gave him a nice Cardinals frame that juuuuust happens to cover up the words "ch**se life.")
And I have to respect that he is so steadfast- he is a true believer and I know it hurts him. I think things are not so clear cut and while I may never choose abortion for myself, I don't believe I am in a position to dictate or judge what is right for others.
Of course because my father is so hardcore Catholic, IVF is a big no-no. It makes me sad I won't be able to lean on him for support in this. My mother understands this and has agreed to not say anything to him. (She also votes for Ds to cancel out his Republ*can vote - by the way, I was shocked to find out some of my readers are Republ*cans! I will eye you both suspiciously, but continue to love and support you...)

But despite not always understanding my dad or agreeing with him, I love him. He turned 68 today so we went over to have dinner. We had a nice dinner and walked around mom's yard. He and A picked bad cherries off the cherry tree and mom gave me a few more plants. (French tarragon is quite amazing - tastes nothing like the crappy dried stuff you can buy. And if you're getting the plant, take a taste and don't buy the Russian stuff they usually sell - it has no flavor.)

I also made a delicious cake for dessert. It's white cake that I poked holes in and poured coconut milk and sweetened condensed milk into. Then I chilled it for several hours. I made whipped cream, toasted coconut and put it all on the chilled cake. Stupid delicious and moist.


Earlier this weekend we had some friends get married. A was the best man and had to wear a horrible tuxedo. All the groomsmen and ushers made jokes about the tuxes at one point or another. The fabric did not breathe and they all looked slightly ill-fitting. Strangely, it was not a cheap rental though. It looks much better in this picture than it did in real life:
Trust me though, the only person who looked good in his tux was the ring bearer and even he had to let it out a bit to get comfortable:
There were quite a few babies and small children at the wedding. It was like an IFers smorgasbord - jealousy, guilt and love all together.

1. The fertile you hate.
A's college girlfriend M is also a friend of the bride and groom. A and M were together for a couple years in college and he moved to her town several years after that and they gave it another go. They remained friends. When A and I got together, I have heard from mutual friends, that she did not care for me. She was apparently miffed that she was not invited to our (very small close friends and family no people either of us had slept with) wedding. She has always been very cold to me. Bitch. (Granted, I have never gone terribly out of my way to become close friends with her either.) Anyways, it has always been awkward between us. She had a baby a few years ago, followed very shortly after by twins. So it was *delightful* seeing her and one of her sons at the wedding.

2. The fertile you avoid and feel terrible about.
Another friend at the wedding is somebody I haven't seen in months. It's partially because she started a new job and I've been busy. What we originally met through, neither of us are involved in anymore. But part of the reason I have avoided her is that she had a baby in December. A whoops-forgot-to-take-my-pill baby. A beautiful gorgeous perfect baby. I was there for the birth and it was at once heartlifting and heartwrenching.
When I saw her I found out she's been diagnosed with Lupus. It's been hard on her and selfish Io hasn't had time for her. What a jerk I am.

3. The other IFer you want to hug. (loss ment.)
It was very good to see friends who had come into town with their son. They went through a lot to get pregnant and finally got pregnant with twins. They were born early and one of the boys passed away. Gah. OK, can't type much about this because it makes me so sad. I'm not terribly close to this couple so I didn't know what exactly to say. I hadn't seen them since they were pregnant. I caught myself thinking that I wish they blogged. Then I would be able to do a better job of offering support and not sounding like a fertile idiot.
Their son is simply amazing. He looks like an angel and is incredibly friendly. He reached out to me several times and when I took him, he'd point where he wanted me to take him. There were big pink poofs hanging from the ceiling and he wanted to grab them.


To finish off this post, I have a meme to do. I have been tagged by DC *and* Pepper! So I better do it.

This meme was prompted by the book written by Larry Smith & Rachel Fershleiser, Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure. Apparently, Hemingway once bet ten dollars that he could sum up his life in six words. His words were, “For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn.” The book is a compilation of similar 6 word stories. This meme challenges us to do the same:
1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it to your blog including a visual illustration if you would like.
3. Link to the person who tagged you
4. Tag 5 more bloggers
5. Don’t forget to leave a comment in the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

My memoir: She's completely unsure but always correct.

(No, I know I'm not always correct. But I sure am good at acting like I am in my everyday life.)

I gotta tag five people?? Let's see:
She has got some of the most randomly fantastic stories.
She's so prolifically prosaic ( I mean this in the best way)- can she do only six words?
She moved so she's not invite only anymore! Go check her new site out!
Schools almost out, so I figure she needed a writing assignment.
Taking cool pics lately. I need to visit her and drink in her backyard.

Of course if any of you have already been tagged, hate memes, hate me, feel free not to do this. Or if you were anxiously scanning for your name, feel free to do it. I like you too.
Even the Republicans.

Bad mommy

Show and Tell time!

Hmm...Pepper asked the other day how the Charlie was doing.

Well, his hair is growing back. But he has an evil Mommy. Because when he ran over to me tonight, asking for me to remove the hair tie he had somehow slipped over his nose, instead of helping him I laughed and took a picture .

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Politics strikes again

Warning - If you're a Republican, well, I don't know why you like me enough to read my blog. But the following is for us cool kids in the Democratic party...

Senator Clinton gets mad props for her speech today. She did a good job of recognizing her supporters and the importance of her historic campaign, while at the same time doing a convincing job of making clear that we cannot afford to be split as a party and must support Senator Obama in November.
Whew. I've been holding my breath and she knocked it out of the park. Kate, your woman has some class.

Friday, June 6, 2008

I'm melllllting!

The air conditioning in our office is not working.

I'm thinking that today is a leave-work-early kind of day.

EDIT: 3:23 pm - I am home and walked in the door to find A making a mojito for me. I knew I loved this man.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Cherry 7up

When I was a child and my mother would abandon me at the pool, bad things would happen. (And yet, she kept on leaving me...sometime I'll tell you about the time they tried to ditch me in San Diego.)
The first time I was stung by a bee it wasn't even the bees fault. I stepped on it. I'm sure the bee was not happy, but having a stinger in the bottom of my foot made me, poor abandoned me, hysterical.
One of the kind teenage lifeguards took me into their staff room and gave me a cherry 7up while he called my mom.
I never really drink 7up, much less cherry flavored, but I bought some the other day and it is like a soothing tonic. I'm drinking some right now and it's fantastically calming.
Funny how those childhood experiences stay with us.

Tomorrow is Friday!

I would send you all the zeppoli (zeppole? I don't know. I don't remember any of the Italian I took in college) that A made, but it would be wrong to eat it anything but warm. And I would give you the recipe, but I was stretched out on the couch while A made it. God I'm spoiled. I know it involves butter. Lots and lots of butter.
If any of you are ever over this way though, A put a huge batch of dough in the freezer, so if you want to come over and be on the opposite of diet with me, you are more than welcome.

In terms of life, we're still in limbo. I can be a total harpy and got on A last night about what he wants to be when he grows up. (I'm a fine one to talk, being completely underemployed.) A has *multiple* degrees in completely different areas. Since he did not pass the b*r, he has been talking about all sort of other things he could do. It's almost as though because it didn't work once, that it won't work again. And I know that he wasn't really loving the big-firm culture. And that's ok. He doesn't have to go back to it. (And it might be hard to get a job with one of the other firms anyways, and certainly not until October when he (hopefully) has passed.) But I think it's mostly coming from hurt and that is not a reason to ot do something.

He also has this amazing ability to believe he can be anything he wants to be. While I want my children to believe in themselves, with my husband I worry that he will get so caught up in the fantasy of a great job in an interesting city that he won't be happy in a regular life. He's been looking at jobs in DC and Mississippi and NYC and Utah. Not normal jobs. I am willing to move for him if he got some amazing job that was going to make him happy. But I think the same complaints he has here will be true other places and that each of those places have their own issues. (Not to mention that while I love him and I love NYC, we can't afford to be homeless there, much less live in a shoebox.)

I don't know. This feels so rambly. It's hard for me to articulate what I feel about our situation. I just hate that we are in it. I hate that I call him when I am coming home and ask what he's doing and he thinks I am harping on him because he's doing nothing but sitting and watching tv. Last night I tried to explain that I thought he was focusing on a fantasy job and I think he was sort of hurt.
I feel guilty. I don't want to force him into begging for a job he doesn't even want.


I went ahead and sent in an application to C**per in addition to the straight donation application I sent in locally. If I get chosen by somebody to donate, great. If I get chosen by somebody through C**per for a split cycle, well, I have decided that I will find a way. Geeze, it takes me a long time to do stuff. I should have done this months ago.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Oh lordy

In case there is ever any question about how I gained fifty pounds after meeting A, I present the following evidence:

My husband decided to whip up some dough, fry it, and cover it in powdered sugar and cinnamon.

Damn it. Zeppoli is WRONG and yet so RIGHT.

The truth

Apparently I am not as exciting as you all think I am...

I have never been arrested.

There. I said it. NEVER have I had the pleasure of cold metal handcuffs...

Wait a second. Er....uh, yeah. Never been arrested.

In addition, the lie was unplugging my ex-boyfriend's fridge. I just thought that one up because my parents had their power off this weekend and their food was spoiling. Please though, feel free to continue to think of me as a vindictive woman scorned. I'm pretty sure I've done some mean things to ex-boyfriends before.

1. My dog growing up was named Whitney. My sister thought of Whitney Houston and decided it was a fine name for a fluffy caramel-colored puppy who loved to give kisses.
2. Just to reiterate - I have never been arrested. Though I wouldn't mind if it were for something like a political demonstration, I am really more of a rule bender. I always knew just how much I could talk back before I would really get in trouble. I'm a closet goody two shoes.
3. I almost drowned after trying to swim to shore from a sailboat stuck in low tide in the Atlantic in late November or early December. I thought I could walk in, but it dropped back off and I had to swim. I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. My best friends stepfather grabbed me and kept me from giving in to the cold waves. I had decided to go ahead and let go and sink in. I wasn't scared. It was very odd.
4. I bought a cake stand yesterday (Edit: By "yesterday" I mean Saturday. Doh.) at a garage sale. My SIL has a cupcake business and I pick up stands for her when I find them.
5. Lies, all lies.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Late to class...

As always, I am late to class. Show and tell for me is apparently Sunday NIGHT.

On Friday night we went out to karaoke and this time several of my friends joined me. (Including one who I think looks like you, Kate. Of course, I've only seen pictures of you and in real life you might look totally different. I know I do. That large pasty white girl in pictures? Not what I actually look like. I'm tan and skinny. Really.
Ok. Maybe not.)

I keep trying to post video of my star turn on stage (thanks Pepper - I found the cord right after you posted me some vibes!), but blogger hates me and says there is an error. will all have to wait to enjoy the stylings of Io until after I figure out how to upload it.

While we were singing our hearts and souls out to Shoop (shoopdadoop), there was a storm raging outside. We managed to be in the bar and miss the whole thing. However the next morning driving up to garage sale with my mom, I saw all the damage - lots of downed trees and power out, including at my parents. They came over today with the chicken that had been in their freezer because it was still out. The power company said it might not all be restored until Tuesday.

Because my mom was coming over I figured I should plant the plants she gave me, oh, say a week ago. So today I am going to show and tell you my yard!

Welcome to my little bungalow in the ghetto! Please excuse the untrimmed hedges

Let's head around back shall we? See that little tree-bush thing? That's Sticks. He's getting big. We also have trees named Honey and Muffy. We have issues.

So on to the plants...
Here's a um...bush.

And here's a flower that hasn't bloomed yet...I think it's some kind of lily. Maybe.
I do know what this is (because my mom just told me). It's a strawberry foxglove. She gave me a little tiny bit of it last summer when it was a centimeter high and it didn't do anything, but this year it suddenly started growing . It makes you want to stick your fingers in it and see how soft it is. Or maybe lick the dots and see if they are made of candy. (Don't worry. I'm not really eating my plants. Well, except for the ones you are supposed to eat.)

We also have some serious weedage. Like the entire side of our house:

My mother walked around while she was here pulling weeds and pinching my vinca so it would fill out better. She also brought me a present! Here it is in its wrapping:
Let's unwrap it...

Gasp! It was DIRT! YAY! Thanks mom!

Oh, and one of my new friends that I have made through NaComLeaveMo, Kymberli, tagged me to do some truths and lies. Four truths and a lie...
1. My dog as a child was named Whitney, after Whitney Houston.
2. I have never been arrested.
3. I almost died when I was 15 after jumping out of a boat in winter.
4. I bought a cake stand at a garage sale yesterday.
5. I once broke into an ex-boyfriend's apartment and unplugged his fridge.

I hereby tag another new NaComLeavMo friend, DC.