Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Fertiles vs. Infertiles

My darling husband does not understand my blogging. And he thinks you, yes you, are just as weird as I am. I just said something about Mel and called her an infertile (he was thinking I was talking about one of our friends - um, no, *she* got knocked up the first month she tried) and he started laughing. Apparently when you start talking about fertiles vs. infertiles it starts sounding like a prissy gang war.
For the record, in case any of you fertiles are reading and thinking about making a move, just know- I will cut a bitch.


Edit: I forgot - a few people asked for the cake recipe. I just used boxed white cake mix. Once it was out of the oven I poked a million holes with a chopstick and poured a mixture of one can of coconut milk and one can of sweetened condensed milk over it slowly. I put it in the fridge for eight hours and then covered it in whipped cream. The whipped cream had some powdered sugar and vanilla in it. Then I threw some toasted coconut on that. Yum.

35 comments:

  1. LOL. Do you think we should come up with some sort of "gang symbol"?

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  2. Wow, that cake sounds A-MA-ZING! I might have to try it, although I don't normally "bake" unless it involves breaking chunks of cookie dough off the roll and - no, wait - the dough never actually makes it into the oven. Doesn't count.

    Oooh, I want to be in the gang! What will my gang name be?? Maybe I'll borrow the street name of a hooker I know (oh yes, a real life hooker, who works out of a Porta Potty, no less), "Thick 'n Juicy." Just call me TJ for short.

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  3. Dude, you make me laugh every day. "I will cut a bitch." Indeed!

    Your cake sounds amazing. I wish I could eat the whole thing right now, right this second. There are adaptability possibilities there, though - make the cake wheat free and then use sweetened coconut milk without the condensed milk...got me thinkin', Io. My sister just sent me an awesome looking gluten-free chocolate cake recipe that could be a good experimental base...maybe tomorrow night.

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  4. LOL! loved that I will cut a bitch! Sounds just like me!!!!

    When I first started blogging about infertility, my DH just went berserk with SSHHHHH!!!!! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

    He still doens't understand why I am doing this but he is starting to see a bit how NCLM has made a difference in my life. He reads the comments on my blog and he goes HMMMM.....So, a HMMMMMM vs a SSSSHHHHHH sounds like he is thinking positive? I'd like to think it's positive thinking!? :)

    Yeah, a "gang symbol" will be good!

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  5. Girl fight!! I got your back!

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  6. What color will our bandana's be in this bad-ass IF gang we are creating and I think we also need a theme song.... you know like something from West side story with a hint of Sweeny Todd. I'm so in on this gang thing- seriously. What will our uniform be? OK, I'm obsessing now.

    I feel you on the us vs. them feeling...just stick around me- everyone I know is getting pregnant, apparently I'm a good luck charm to people. I don't know why I'm pissy about this - we aren't even trying with meds. I don't get it. IF really screws the mind. URGHHHHH

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  7. Ha!! I love it! "Does Io have to cut a bitch?"

    I am picturing a bunch of women walking around in sexy red dresses with bags of needles & booze squaring off against a bunch of big bellied preggos with legos & nuks. what can I say- it's early.

    My mom just made a cake like that, but she lives 300 miles away & I just got to hear about it. It's way too hot here to even think about baking, but I'll have to try it if it ever cools down!

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  8. Can it be more like West Side Story? This way we can sing and dance in unison. I always wanted my life to be part musical. People breaking out in song and choregraphed dance at random times...

    That cake sounds awesome. I am so making it when I buy some cocunut milk.

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  9. I so picture you up in some fertile's face saying, "MOVE, BITCH, Get out the way! Get out the way, bitch, get out the way...", only it's softened a bit by your adorable midwest accent.

    Gang signs must be discussed at the next meeting...

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  10. We have to come up with some kind of proper punishment for fertiles who are flaunting newborns in stores and restaurants. I don't mind that they're THERE, but the fawning over them? Not cool. That will be another cut a bitch scenario.

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  11. He'll get used to it...I know Scott did. And now Scott is just as interested in what is going on with all my "blogger friends" as I am! :) What can we say? It's addictive! But the good kind.

    Gotta run...aliens to defend against.

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  12. well, we certainly already have our "colors", don't we? or at least one of them!

    I'd bet Cali could design us a wicked, pomegranate infused gang symbol!

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  13. I like the idea of having our own gang name...THE DEAD OVARIES! How about that!

    the cake sounds great too...

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  14. My husband just nods and hopes that I will shut up! LOL!

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  15. BWP's which according to www.gangsorus.com/lettersa.html, means 'bitches with problems.' Oh yeah, you betta brace ya self

    (Oh, I couldn't find the gang slang for 'I am a nerd.')

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  16. Via NCLM...ya, my husband doesn't get me, my blog, or any of you guys either. :) Lol...I guess I do end up sounding like part of a gang.

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  17. HAHA! "I will cut a bitch" That's awesome!

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  18. I am proud to be part of your prissy gang! Without your husband thinking it, I feel weird myself. But I am not ashamed to have bonded with other infertiles.

    I have been using you guys as leverage in fights with my husband lately. Over and over I have told him how complete strangers give more support than him. I think I have made him hate the idea of my blog.

    You are fucking hilarious!

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  19. "I will cut a bitch."

    And this is why this weirdo loves you!! As you are well aware, I have to avoid cutting impulses often as I am surrounded by morons.

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  20. Hmmm...I think a Fertiles vs. Infertiles Broadway show sounds like a fantastic idea! Think "West Side Story" with pee sticks and dildo cams!

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  21. Hi, I have been reading your blog for a few months now, but this is my first comment. There is an article in the NY Times that would be of interest to you and your readers:

    http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/10/voices-of-infertility/

    Some of the comments are quite shocking.
    Suzanne
    Long Beach, NY

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  22. I didn't even tell my husband I'm blogging--he would think I've lost my mind for sure, to be talking about my hoo hoo in a public place.

    Instead, I just told him that I've decided to write more. Which is the absolute truth.

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  23. that's hilarious.

    Hey - once an "infertile" becomes pregnant, is she still an infertile?

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  24. You hit the nail on the head. This is like a war. I'll be laughing about this for days.

    NCLM

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  25. I just found your blog -- I will be forever faithful to reading it JUST because of that delicious looking cake. And you are hilarious -- but that cake -- man oh man!!!!! I just started weight watchers last week but I might have to make it and cheat. Did you make that up? Sam

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  26. My DP doesn't know about my blogging. I'm sure she thinks I'm weird anyway. Most people seem to ;)

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  27. I'm getting images of "West Side Story" -- lol! I got your back.

    Thanks for sharing the recipe, it sounds delicious.

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  28. my MIL says the same thing about blogging. in fact the word she used was "freaks". but if this is freaky, who needs normal?

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  29. Via NaComLeavMo.

    Love your blog! I've been thinking lately that I still feel infertile, even though I did eventually get pregnant, carried to term with no problem, and now love my son to bits. Does the fact that I had to shoot myself up with drugs and use a turkey baster to get pregnant mean I can remain in the interfile club? For some twisted reason, I hope it does.

    And it sounds like you are a St. Louisian (is that the correct term?). We lived there for 5 years... great city! Hot as $&#?, but great.

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  30. lol- "I will cut you bitch" I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard.

    I really don't know which side of the gang lines I would fall on, I was IF then had a baby and now I am IF again. I guess I need to know if I am standing behind the girl with the knife or getting one of my own (lol) :o)

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  31. What were you saying about me? Huh? Huh?

    The cake does look good. I am a sucker for coconut.

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  32. Damn right it's a gang war, I got your back Io :)

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  33. I've been referring to fertiles v. infertiles for a few months now in conversations and I'm always startled when I see people look at ME funny -- like I'm saying something weird. Seriously.

    It seems perfectly natch to me...but then that's how I see the world.

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  34. It is a gang war. Fertiles expect us to bottle up our emotions and always act like we're on their turf. We're not.

    I think my gang name will be O-Money. It costs money for me to ovulate.

    I am glad to have found some ladies who keep it real. The online support group community I have been in are a bunch of pissing contest "who has been through more" crap. Infertility hurts, no matter what.

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