I would send you all the zeppoli (zeppole? I don't know. I don't remember any of the Italian I took in college) that A made, but it would be wrong to eat it anything but warm. And I would give you the recipe, but I was stretched out on the couch while A made it. God I'm spoiled. I know it involves butter. Lots and lots of butter.
If any of you are ever over this way though, A put a huge batch of dough in the freezer, so if you want to come over and be on the opposite of diet with me, you are more than welcome.
In terms of life, we're still in limbo. I can be a total harpy and got on A last night about what he wants to be when he grows up. (I'm a fine one to talk, being completely underemployed.) A has *multiple* degrees in completely different areas. Since he did not pass the b*r, he has been talking about all sort of other things he could do. It's almost as though because it didn't work once, that it won't work again. And I know that he wasn't really loving the big-firm culture. And that's ok. He doesn't have to go back to it. (And it might be hard to get a job with one of the other firms anyways, and certainly not until October when he (hopefully) has passed.) But I think it's mostly coming from hurt and that is not a reason to ot do something.
He also has this amazing ability to believe he can be anything he wants to be. While I want my children to believe in themselves, with my husband I worry that he will get so caught up in the fantasy of a great job in an interesting city that he won't be happy in a regular life. He's been looking at jobs in DC and Mississippi and NYC and Utah. Not normal jobs. I am willing to move for him if he got some amazing job that was going to make him happy. But I think the same complaints he has here will be true other places and that each of those places have their own issues. (Not to mention that while I love him and I love NYC, we can't afford to be homeless there, much less live in a shoebox.)
I don't know. This feels so rambly. It's hard for me to articulate what I feel about our situation. I just hate that we are in it. I hate that I call him when I am coming home and ask what he's doing and he thinks I am harping on him because he's doing nothing but sitting and watching tv. Last night I tried to explain that I thought he was focusing on a fantasy job and I think he was sort of hurt.
I feel guilty. I don't want to force him into begging for a job he doesn't even want.
I went ahead and sent in an application to C**per in addition to the straight donation application I sent in locally. If I get chosen by somebody to donate, great. If I get chosen by somebody through C**per for a split cycle, well, I have decided that I will find a way. Geeze, it takes me a long time to do stuff. I should have done this months ago.