Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I can't tell you how much it means to me right now.
I'm feeling slightly hysterical.
The brief craziness at work has passed, everything went fairly well and I can calm down again. We had two separate events I was responsible for, one yesterday and one today, and both days somebody during the morning commented on how everything was fine and I could stop looking so stressed. Didn't they understand? I needed to wait until the end, when everything was over, before I could breathe again.
My body is responding to my stress level - generally I run a 27/28 day cycle, but when I am stressed my cycle is 26 days. For two months now I have had 26 day cycles.
The thing is, the work thing was just a blip. As stressful and emotional as it was (one of the events is a memor*al - I don't want to f up *anything*, but especially when there are grieving families involved) it was tiny compared to the stress of everything else. A takes the b*r again in less than two weeks. If he fails this time, he wouldn't be able to take it until the end of February, wouldn't find out until next May again... and I'd like to say that I'm confidant he's doing everything he can to pass, but I think he'd depressed over failing and angry over it and that's affecting his studying.
Now something else has blindsided us. Somebody we love very much is ill and it feels like the world is upside-down. I'm sorry for being vague, but it's not my story to tell. And it seems selfish, but for this to happen less than two weeks before the b*r? Fuck. It's like a huge convergence of shit this year.
I'm sorry, I hate that I am always whining about the latest crap thing to happen. There are worse things in the world than what we deal with. This latest has certainly made me feel like IF is insignificant in comparison.
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I'm so sorry Io, you are in my prayers. We are all here for you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your loved one. I hope they recover soon. I will keep them, you & A in my thoughts for the next few weeks & hope that everything turns right for you.
ReplyDeleteFYI- you are an absolute angel, to even be able to think about me, much less send me something with everything you have going on is so very touching. {{{hugs}}}
I hope everything and everyone gets better soon. Sending good vibes your way.
ReplyDeleteI hope the craziness slows down for you and your family. I have been on that train, and God knows, it is not a good place to be.
ReplyDeleteHey Sweetie -
ReplyDeleteThe never ending ball of crap filled events has followed Duane and I throughout our marriage and I guess I've come to a determination that it is just part of life. I know that feeling of "When the eff is it EVER going to end". I'm not sure it does, life just hands us sucky and less sucky moments, nestled between the crap are blissful moments that I cling to, in order to find repreve.
URggghhh - sorry, I'm not a good cheerleader today. I do have good news for you, regarding you that you will be happy about. A clue - A big brown truck will be delivering a special package for you, I'll email you the tracking number tomorrow.
I'm sorry you're in such a stressful place right now, Io. I will definitely be keeping my fingers crossed that things calm down and you can find some time to relax and take care of yourself. (And, on an unrelated note, I'm glad you had fun in downtown Chelsea. Isn't it a fun little town??)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that there is even more stress in your and A's life, especially right now. It sounded like he was really close to passing last time, so hopefully the extra studying will be enough - but I'm sure both of you will be fine, bar or no bar.
ReplyDeleteI hope next week is much better.
I will definately keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers. Keep your chin up and the sun will shine again.
ReplyDeleteio you and a are still in my prayers. Hope a does well on the bar, let me know the date and I will send up extra prayers. I will also pray for your family member.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment on my blog.
It doesn't matter that there are worse things, this is your life and these things are huge to you. Sending you lots of positive energy and hopeful vibes that things turn around quickly for you!
ReplyDeleteI found myself worrying about you all day. It does seem like it pours for you sometimes. I am glad you can gain some good perspective if nothing else from your stress. You definitely don't deserve anything else.
ReplyDeleteWe are always here WHENEVER you need to vent. You and your family are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYou've been in my prayers everyday and will stay there along with A_ and your family and those you love. Wishing you all peace and healing.
ReplyDeletewishing you all the best with everything you're going through...
ReplyDeleteIt always seems like the cr@ppy stuff in life happens all at once. I'm sorry. (((hugs))) Hope things get better for you & your family soon.
ReplyDeleteYou continue to be in my thoughts and prayers...hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that at least work is calming down for you. I'm so sorry to hear about your loved one's illness. I know how that can leak over everything else in your life. I'm sending you and Al both calming energy and wishing you both clarity.
ReplyDeleteAh, my dear. I'm so so sorry things are rough right now. You don't deserve it. I mean, NO ONE really deserves it (well, maybe dictators and other assholes, but no one I know), but after the year you guys have had, you REALLY don't deserve it. I'm just so damn sorry. I, too, will have a little something in the mail to you this weekend (I mean, I was planning it before, but now, I'll have to throw in a few things to pamper Io a little bit...)
ReplyDeletePlease take care of yourself. Deep breaths. Stretch a little. Punch a pillow or something. Call me and yell really loud. I won't mind. Just do something to relieve the tension on yourself. You are an amazing person and I KNOW you'll get through this just fine.
I'll be thinking of you and A and your families.
Io, you and your family are in my prayers. I'm praying for everything: work, the B*r, A, your ill family member- just everything. And NEVER feel bad for needing.
ReplyDeleteOh, Io dear, I know what havoc a crap year can wreck on your nerves. Now, don't think ill of me for suggesting this, but please take good care of yourself. Make sure you get enough rest and mental downtime and healthful food. It sounds like there are a lot of distressing factors you can't change at the moment--like whether A passes.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending you a huge hippy hug. I HAVE to get this whole license thing taken care of soon, so I can come hang with you and tell you stupid jokes and buy you more cheese and stuff.
Yes, things could always be worse and sometimes are for other people but there's no need to explain your sadness, anger or frustration with a disclaimer. Aren't we all apt to do that? And it's a shame really. You are entitled to your sadness and we are entitled to tell you that we are thinking about you. Peace.
ReplyDeleteSending you a big bear hug and well wishes!
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry....please keep me updated. i hope everything that is happening with your family happens peacefully and full of love.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are going through so much bad stuff right now. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI know what it is like having a husband take the b*r. My Hubby had to take the b*r several times before he passed it. I am hoping for the best for you this time!
I am so sorry that you're all going through such hard times. I know that this has to be so stressful for A and in turn that much more stressful for you. And with the family member on top of that...
ReplyDeleteYou're all in my thoughts and prayers. (((hugs)))
I am keeping a good thought for you, your family, A and the bar, and more. And I agree with the others that everyone has their own sorrows and struggles to face, these are yours and you need not apologize for them. And I hope they get better for you, and quick!!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your blog. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks for the sweet comment you left me. If you ever want to visit the beach, you can come to Florida and stay in my spare room and be my IRL friend in addition to my blogland friend. The only rule about people who stay in my spare room is they can't mind dog hair. Somehow I think you'll qualify! xo
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're going through a rough time. I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way and hoping the bar exam goes well!! I know this is a super stressful time for both of you. *hugs*
ReplyDeletei am wishing your husband lots and lots of luck on his test - i completly feel his pain from the medical aspect of this. only i cant bring my self to go through that pain again, at least not yet, because i in fact am too angry and upset to think about it.
ReplyDeletei am praying for you and your family and wish that everyone gets just what they want and need right now.