Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I can't tell you how much it means to me right now.
I'm feeling slightly hysterical.
The brief craziness at work has passed, everything went fairly well and I can calm down again. We had two separate events I was responsible for, one yesterday and one today, and both days somebody during the morning commented on how everything was fine and I could stop looking so stressed. Didn't they understand? I needed to wait until the end, when everything was over, before I could breathe again.
My body is responding to my stress level - generally I run a 27/28 day cycle, but when I am stressed my cycle is 26 days. For two months now I have had 26 day cycles.
The thing is, the work thing was just a blip. As stressful and emotional as it was (one of the events is a memor*al - I don't want to f up *anything*, but especially when there are grieving families involved) it was tiny compared to the stress of everything else. A takes the b*r again in less than two weeks. If he fails this time, he wouldn't be able to take it until the end of February, wouldn't find out until next May again... and I'd like to say that I'm confidant he's doing everything he can to pass, but I think he'd depressed over failing and angry over it and that's affecting his studying.
Now something else has blindsided us. Somebody we love very much is ill and it feels like the world is upside-down. I'm sorry for being vague, but it's not my story to tell. And it seems selfish, but for this to happen less than two weeks before the b*r? Fuck. It's like a huge convergence of shit this year.
I'm sorry, I hate that I am always whining about the latest crap thing to happen. There are worse things in the world than what we deal with. This latest has certainly made me feel like IF is insignificant in comparison.