Thursday, November 20, 2008

Choose my own adventure? Nah. You do it.

I'm probably being ridiculous and there is a really obvious answer here.
Humor me anyways.

A is just not finding a job. I think it's a combination of a few things - I think there aren't a lot of jobs out there, his law degree isn't terribly useful since he didn't pass the bar and his experience is as an educator, all the ed jobs he's applied for aren't beginning until next fall and he might still get one but it's a long ways off. Also, I think he's depressed and not really doing much in the way of networking.
Many, if not most, of the jobs he's applying for are not here. And while I don't particularly want to leave if we have to, we have to. (Sorry Lollipop, no DC, but we are looking at BFE Illinois, BFE Ohio, St. Louis, North Carolina (Kate!), and BFE Colorado.)

So there is a decent chance that we will move.

That being so...
I don't want to leave my job. I love my job. I adore my boss, I can bring Charlie to work, I think a lot of the stuff I do is really interesting and important and good. There is beer in the fridge, I can talk back all I want, and if this mythical baby ever comes into being my boss wants me to just bring the kid with and keep working.

There is a job posting in Ch*cago. I think I fit what they want pretty perfectly. They pay really well.
And Illinois mandates IF coverage.

If there is a good chance that we will have to move anyways, and I will leave my happy little job, perhaps I should apply for this job. Chicago is a big town and A would have plenty of time and a financial cushion while he takes the bar again and finds a job.

Of course, this job might suck, I might hate it, Al might find a job here where I want to stay, I wouldn't be able to bring Charlie or the mythical kid, we own a house here that lord knows we might not be able to sell and housing in Chicago isn't cheap. My parents are here, my friends are here (though we have a few in Chicago too).

Do I apply? I know that I might not even get it, that even if it is offered I wouldn't have to take it.... but I'm still hesitating.

Tell me what to do oh great internets.


  1. I would apply. I mean you said it- even if you get it you don't have to take it if it isn't right for you & A.

    but for reals- I totally get the scary turf that you guys are in right now.

    As a random side note- where do you WANT to live? Maybe that is where A should take the bar?? Mom only took the bar in one state and that is the only state she can work inhouse. It is beyond limiting and sucks.


  2. Apply! The worst thing that can happen is that you get a free trip to Chi town for an interview and they end up offering you something. Besides, it will be a great kick-up for your ego if you were to get an offer. "They want me! They really want me!!"

    Think a little further down the road... perhaps you get the job, take it, move, A takes and passes the exam, and you get knocked up. Then you move back home w your DH the attorney and adorable newborn to your old house and old job to work w your dog and old, sexually-repressed boss. It could happen!

  3. Darling, you're about fifteen steps ahead of yourself. Just apply and see what happens. If nothing happens, then you would have worried (or gotten yourself all excited about the possibilities) for naught. If you get the interview, just go and see if you like the company. If you get the offer and you like it, THEN you've got some decisions to make.

    Until then you're just keeping your options open. Nothing wrong with that. One step at a time.


  4. You need to get the job before you turn it down.

  5. Apply! You can always turn it down. If you move to Chicago I'll come visit you! It's not that far from Indy, you'll still be semi close to friends and family. Yes not taking Charlie to work with you would suck, but life is about change and who knows where this could lead!

  6. Definitely apply and then decide. Besides, I might move to Chicago in a couple of years. You don't want to miss that, do you? :)

  7. Ok, while I agree with everyone else's advice, that you should definitely just apply I want to complain about the choices for your adventure. Why no NYC? Or at least someplace with fun, nice insurance laws in case I have to ditch JD and come deliver near you (don't worry, I'm keeping the offer in the back of my mind). But seriously, A should look at the different pass rates for out-of-state people for the bar, and maybe even consider DC since I'm pretty sure you can wave in there with any state bar, and that might take a bit of pressure off of him.

  8. Definatly apply. Then I will swoop in and steal your job cause mine sucks.
    A lot could change between now and when they (probably) offer you a job. It might be an easier decision with the new reality. It might be easier once you know more about the job.

    DC... I used to live there and I think (?) that IF coverage is mandated in Maryland. There are tons of companies just over the DC border in MD.

    NC... toughish job market but I live there too!

    Good luck, and congrats on the life decisions. They may be stressful but they are also exciting, no?

  9. I would apply for it. You don't have to take it but at least you tried. Your in my prayers. God Bless!

  10. Hon, I'd go ahead and apply and then see what happens. If it sounds like a fantastic opportunity, you might as well just try and go for it.

  11. I agree with the others. Apply for it and if you get an offer, then you can worry about making a decision then.

  12. I'm on colorado!

    I don't know what you should do. I don't know if I would apply anywhere until you know where he's going to be going.

  13. Apply, apply, apply! Its better to have too many great options than none at all! Good luck!

  14. Oh, I used to adore choose my own adventure books.

    I am slightly biased but I choice CHICAGO. I live in the suburbs and would so love Io to be my IRL friend. There are cheaper suburbs to find housing in and a great train system to commute into the city. My husband and I now own one car and love our location.

    I am not sure why everyone doesn't move to IL just for the IF coverage. Like everyone else said, apply so you don't always regret it. Good luck making up your mind but for now it seems like you have nothing to lose!

  15. I'm also biased. Chicago it is. Because then we can totally hang.

  16. Apply - because everyone can always use the interviewing practice. But Chicago has awesome food too. So if it's an overnight trip for an interview or a long term move, you can get some good eats. Apply everywhere. Make A apply everywhere. There's no need to make any kind of life changing decision until you need to make that life changing decision. You can just compare notes and find what suits you both.

  17. Ahem. My answer would be strictly out of selfishness .... :-)

    But seriously, I would apply just to get the experience. And like someone else said up above, why not apply for jobs in cities that YOU would want to live in.

    Anyway, sorry I haven't been commenting much ... just finally caught up with reading!!

  18. Long time lurker, just wanted to say I think you should apply. You never know what could happen and if you get the job and decide you don't want to move or take it just turn it down. I have a few friends who are considering moving there from NY since nothing is going on here for jobs.

    Best of Luck!

  19. I agree with everyone apply and then decide. Does A have any job prospects there?

    I would say with the housing market you are probably better off if you rent your current house. On the plus side you could always come home if you wanted.

  20. CA doesn't have mandatory IF coverage, so don't even consider it. (sorry, Kara!)

    FYI: Massachusetts does have mandatory coverage, so you might want to consider there as well.

    I hate the thought of leaving my beloved job as well, but if I could do something similar AND get IF coverage...hell's yeah!

  21. A lesson I wished I learned earlier in life: You spend a massive amount of time at work. It is important to do something you love. Life is too short to be miserable at work. No amount of a raise is worth trading something that makes you happy for misery.

    However, you do have to consider everything else in your life. Family, dh's employment (and happiness), etc. Tough call, but it can't hurt to apply. You may find a fantastic work environment in Chicago, too!

  22. I'm sorry you have to be in this position to begin with! I say, if you think that job does sound right for you, apply for it. Even if you go there for an interview, you can always say no. If you ever end up taking the job, moving there (and not liking the job) if a better job comes up down the road you can take it. Plus if yjr OF stuff is covered... well we all know that's a good thing.

    I hope you make the right decision.

  23. I'm in the minority here, but I would let A drive this ship. He's got to be feeling so many things and he's taken a huge hit to his ego. Let him be in control of this one. Let him, with your assistance of course, make a decision about what he wants to be doing and where the best opportunities are. And you love your job. That is a gift in itself. Keep as long as possible.

  24. I say apply- the worst that happens is they say no thanks. Or maybe that they say yes & then you ~really~ have to decide!

    Seriously- how about some NE areas? I know how expensive NY is- so I get that, but Philly is super cheap- plus we have ghetto shop-n-bags to make you feel at home! And then we can be neighbors & hang out & more people are pshing for PA to get mandatory IF coverage & we could drink really good Victory beer together- in a few months that is. Oh- and there are tons of schools & a crapload of law firms here... not much financial industry, but a lot of law offices. Just throwing it out there... ;o)

    (my word verification is weraha which is making me think of the 80's band & that video for 'take on me'!)

  25. First - LOVED that book series as a kid!

    Second - I hate that the world works this way, but if you apply and get the job, no-one says you have to take it. (I did the same routine with preschools) from ILCW...good luck

  26. ohh how stressful! It never hurts to apply though, so if you get it and things work out you can stay where you are, then no harm done, just tell them you don't need the job anymore!!

    good luck with all the decsion making

    here from ICLW

  27. Oh - difficult decisions.
    Is there any harm in applying - you don't have to go any further with it.


  28. Hey,

    Part of my job is to process applications and the main reason most people cannot get hired is that I cannot get in touch with their references for a phone call.

    If you think this might be the case, contact the people he has listed as references and let them know to expect calls.

    Typically it can take WEEKS to get people to answer the phone or call me back. So people that get called for a second interview and hired might not be the people we liked the best but were the people we could complete our paperwork on.


  29. It never hurts to try and apply. You can take it from there if your offered the job. Here from ICLW.

  30. Of course you should apply, because that doesn't bind you to anything. The real question is what to do if you get it?

    Wish I had some good answers for you. I was most struck by what Melanie said, though, about doing what you can to rehabilitate Al. I honestly don't know how he's coping with all this rejection and disappointment. It isn't just that he's having a crap time himself, it's that he must feel like he's letting you down as well.

    I love my job. I mean LOVE it. But mandated IF coverage? A real shot at a job and a future for A? Those are hard things to turn down.

    Oh, and why the hell NOT DC??? DC is a great place to be a lawyer, esp. one w/o a bar membership! And there are some cool people in the area, or so I hear. :-)

  31. That's a tough situation. I would probably go ahead and apply and just see what happens. You can make the decision about whether you would actually take it or not when the time comes.


  32. Thanks for stopping by and letting me know you would be willing to talk to her. I was thinking of giving her your blog info anyway (your on my reader). Hopefully they will find out some more info soon.

    I really appreciate it and will be sending your blog info to her tonight.

  33. Apply, why not? I am with all the rest of the ladies here, see what its like, go check it out and hey you don't have to take it, cause you know they will want you for sure! Thinking of ya girl! xoxoxoxo

  34. That is a hard decision. Would there be any harm in applying even if you don't ultimately accept? It is always nice to have options...

    Here from ICLW

  35. apply!! what can it really hurt. worse case you do not get the job. best case you get the job and are able to turn it down. hope it works out the way you want.


  36. My mom (who happens to work in HR) gave me a very wise piece of advice.... Never turn down a job you haven't been offered.

    Apply, interview, see what happens. Worst case scenario, you don't get it, but you've added a refresher to your resume/interview/application experience.

    But, best case scenario? Oh darlin, the sky is the limit!

  37. Oh I totally say NC is awesome!!! Come on now, we have soooooo much to offer... including me!!!

    I am just kidding sweetie, but I totally get that it has to be very hard for you to just sit on your hands and wait for something, anything to happen.... I will support you no matter what you decide!!!

  38. I so, so, so hear you. (And thanks for the comment. . .totally got you, and would never think it was all about you). Here's the crazy thing: I wasn't sure I would love, love, love my current job when I took it. It was something of a leap of faith, and it's worked out a million times better than I ever thought it would (which is why it's so hard to even consider leaving). So, food for thought. You might love this new job even better. There is only one way to find out, though. . .by applying! You can always turn it down if you don't get good vibes when you go there. You'll never know until you try.

  39. I agree, apply and see what happens!

  40. It's nice to live in a state that mandates IF coverage. I had no idea how fortunate we were living in MA, another state that mandates IF. It's probably worth applying for the job just for that perk although it does sound like you are in a nice situation where you are now.


  41. NC??? What's this about NC? Man, I step away for, like, a day and suddenly, there's talk of a move?

    Well, I love Chicago. I really, really love it, so I would jump at a chance to move there. But if you like where you are, then you should stay. I would consider applying, if for no other reason than to keep your head in the game for when/if A does get a job elsewhere. I mean, you LOVE your job. I know how hard it has been for you to decide to stay in spite of the fact that you know you aren't paid necessarily what you are worth, but you've stayed anyway.

    So apply, but unless your heart really is being pulled there, then stay right where you are. Or come to NC. You know, giving up your favorite job is no big deal if you get to live in Kate-land (well, Kate-and-JJ-and-UnicornuateLiz-and-LoveComesFirst land...). I kid, of course, but yeah. I got a little excited to see NC as an option!

    And I have no idea why, but my word verification on your blog is always something interesting. Tonight it's semin (so not exactly semen, but damn close... wtf!)