Sunday, November 30, 2008

Still recovering

I'm still alive, despite my worries about dehydration yesterday. I couldn't even keep down small bits of water. Isn't projectile vomiting fun? (/sarcasm)

I woke up today feeling a million times better and had some soup and just ate a small plate of leftovers. If I still feel good in a little while, I am going to try a small piece of sweet potato pie since I didn't have any on Thanksgiving.

It was good to see family, and Thanksgiving was okay, but I'm going to blame my sickness for being weak and too tired to write anything about it right now. Instead, I'm going to ask if anyone read this essay in the NYT magazine about using a surrogate. While I doubt I would ever be best friends with the author, I appreciated it and her honesty and was *disgusted* by the comments that people left. I get that people don't see infertility as on the same level as other diseases, but I don't understand the vitrol that it seems to inspire. What other disease gets you labeled as "selfish" for trying to treat it?

37 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness. I read the article earlier but I didn't read the comments until you pointed them out. The level of ignorance and bias that the commenters are showing is unbelievable. I am disgusted.

    I hope you feel better!

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  2. I can't handle the article tonight, but I definitely want to read it. I always start yelling at the computer when I read the comments to those types of articles. People are nuts.

    At least you can blame the projectile vomiting on an illness that wasn't your fault. Normally when I find myself in such a position, me and Jose Cuervo are squarely to blame!

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  3. I do not care for the author and really didn't care for some of the things that she said, but I'm happy that she was able to have a child. While most of the comments seriously made me want to scream at the computer, a few hit it on the head. Those pictures seiously made the author look like a snob (and didn't do justice to the surrogate), IMO.

    I wonder if the author would have received the same reaction if a family member had offered to be the surrogate.

    I hope you're continue to feel better!!

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  4. I started the article before the website kicked me off demanding that I sign up for it. And now that you're mentioning it again, I might have to actually (gulp) get off my lazy butt and register. So difficult, I know.

    Hope you feel better my friend. Vomitus is never fun.

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  5. Glad you're feeling better.

    Started reading the article on my iTouch over breakfast. Didn't finish it or see the comments. Not sure I want to. Today I'm feeling like this cycle isn't working and I have to give up the idea of a genetic child. Not sure I'm feeling strong enough to read the vitriol.

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  6. Oooh, I must be a glutton for punishment. I clicked the link. My iTouch didn't show the pic of the author and her son with the baby nurse looking on. What was the point of that?

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  7. I just can't read it. People's comments piss me off and if I can't have an audience with the morons, I just skip it all together.

    I'm so glad you are feeling better. That sounds all so freaking awful.

    And yes, projectile vomiting IS fun.

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  8. Not in a place to read the article, but just wanted to say that I've gotten tons of crap (of the "you're a pussy, just get over it" type) for medically treating depression.

    When I'm in the mood to educate these ignoramuses, I use the "diabetic" analogy, i.e., you wouldn't tell a diabetic not to take medication and to just get over their diabetes, so why tell me that?

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  9. I read the entire article earlier today and it was disturbing- on so many levels. While she bragged about Drinking bourbon, white-water river rafting and going to the superbowl....I had many not so nice comments running through my mind.

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  10. I found parts of the article refreshingly honest (like addressing the cost up front and clearly contrasting the surrogate's peeling porch and the mother's house with the baby nurse) but overall I found it a bit disappointing that I couldn't quite bring myself to 'like' the mother. And the father was almost entirely absent from the process. Oh, and by far the most offensive part to me was when the mother explained how at least she was the 'biological mother' - so much for anyone who has to use an egg donor (or for my poor eggs should I manage to pawn them off on an unsuspecting friend at some point). But most of the description of IVF failure, etc. seemed quite accurate along with D and C's and repeat miscarriages, and that was at least reassuring.

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  11. Hope youre feeling better girl! I am going to read that article now, I can just imagine all the winners comments...

    Oh and everything is pretty casual here. Sometimes its good, sometimes its not so good. In this case, ok. But I still wish I hadn't had to take that forced nap...

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  12. The photos and the author's affluence made her an easy target. I'm not surprised people reacted so negatively, but it's still unfair. Although we made fewer attempts with IVF and spent less money than the article's author, I'm sure many people would respond the same way if I shared what we've experienced. I often question how open I want to be about IF. I'm hesitant to invite the judgment of others.

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  13. thanks for sharing the article. i liked it. i thought it was very honest about the whole range of feelings involved. i did not read the comments - why subject myself. i know what i thought of it... sorry for the miserable way you spent your weekend! yuck!

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  14. I agree with a couple of people that I just can't read it. I will take your word and that of those who left comments. It will piss me off and right now I am in a fairly decent mood.
    I hope you are feeling better! What a time to be sick!
    I think Depression is a disease that is also hard to talk about and address. There's the outrageous idea that you are just wallowing in self pity and that you need to "snap out of it" and "count your blessings". I think we would all get more help, understanding, empathy, encouragement and insurance coverage if we had cancer or heart disease!

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  15. Glad you are feeling better...

    I don't have time to read the article, but I couldn't agree more with your comment about IF being a disease and people having a right to treat it medically.

    Why is there so much hate out there? :(

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  16. Oi vey, those comments. I can't read them anymore; the trolls are in force. We could all probably write them ourselves: the old saw about there being a gazillion neglected children just waiting to be plucked from the tree of adoption, if only we selfish women weren't so close-minded to the joys of raising a 17 year old who's been in foster care for most of their lives. Or that we should accept it as God or some other deity's will, or Darwin's theories on action, or some such bullhonkey.

    That said, it seems kind of sad to go to all that trouble and anguish and then hire a nurse for your child. But I haven't read the essay, so I should keep my trap shut.

    So sorry you've been sick! I hope you continue to recover quickly and can get back to the important business of eating.

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  17. People are assholes. When is Jen going to run for President again so she can throw them in jail?

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  18. The link's not working for me here at work so I'll try again later, although sometimes it's best to shield myself from that stuff, too. I just get too mad.

    Sorry to hear you've been stricken. I can relate, really I can. Take it easy friend, and get lots of rest. I'm still not feeling quite right, although I've been eating normal food for a week now, but still weak and easily tired. Hope it passes more quickly for you.

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  19. I read the article and thought it was at least very well written. It did stand out to me that the father was hardly mentioned. I'm choosing based on your post and the comments here to NOT read the comments to her article because I know it will just piss me off.

    Glad you are on the mend. Hopefully even more so today?

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  20. Hope you are feeling better? Sounds like you had something similar to what my whole family got over the holiday--blech.

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  21. Glad you are feeling a bit better. I have not read that article but pissed my pants when I read Kym's comments on the pics from article.

    People are such losers when its comes to IF, especially when the losers comment online, cowards.

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  22. Hope you're feeling MUCH, much better.

    I had a similar response to the piece.

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  23. Just checking to see if you're feeling better. I miss hearing from you!

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  24. Where you be at? I keep looking for a new Io post and am sorely disappointed when I don't see one.

    *Sniff*

    (Was the sniff a little too much? Still. Wondering how you are.)

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  25. Hope you are feeling better. Being sick totally sucks!

    ((HUGS))

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  26. Just popping in to make sure your feeling better. I hope you are!
    Enjoy your day!
    Hugs,
    -D

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  27. Yeah. I did all I could not to comment back on that article giving all the douchewads a piece of my mind. Never feed the trolls, right?

    Dood. Are you still all pukey? I hope you're feeling better... Definitely missing your snark in the blogosphere, and hoping that things are going well.

    Any word on the job front? Dare I hope that we might have an Io and A_ in the neighborhood someday?

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  28. Where are you? You've not been posting for awhile. Getting worried

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  29. Try being fat and infertile - not only are you selfish for treating it, but you are disgusting and shouldn't be reproducing anyway. Sheesh. As a rule, though, I avoid comments on articles - they tend to veer towards the nasty end of the spectrum.

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  30. I tagged you in my blog.

    Also I am super worried about you. Where are you?

    Here is a HUG!

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  31. hey just checkin on you girl. hope all is ok, we miss ya! xoxoxoxo

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  32. Hope you have a Merry Christmas. ((Hugs))

    ICLW

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  33. Just got back into town, and my reader tells me that you've vanished while I've been gone. I'm sending you lots of hugs and virtual chocolate, and hope that you're being good to yourself. Let us know if you need anything.

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  34. I hope you feel better for Christmas!! Coming from ICLW and thought I might have read that you're a fellow Hoosier (oh, the joys), so just thought I'd say hi and happy holidays!

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