Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving

Oh Thanksgiving. I'm trying, I am.

I have been painful depressed the past few days. Not quite take all the food out of the refrigerator and curl up inside it depressed, just go to bed early and not talk to A because I don't feel like I can say anything that won't just be guttural wailing depressed.
I decided not to apply for that job I asked you all about. I know it's silly, but I felt like if I applied and got it I would feel obligated to take it for the money. And it made me actually cry to think about leaving my job. It's one thing if I have to leave it because of A finding work somewhere, but choosing to leave so *I* can move somewhere and take another job? I would not be happy. And I know that might seem irrational to many of you, but unless I absolutely have to , I am not going to leave. And A agreed. It didn't feel right to either of us.

So it's back to hoping A gets a job here in town. He's got a few classes he can pick up Spring semester at the U he was teaching at before, and while it will be part time, it should be enough to keep our heads above water for a bit. So we'll continue to tread.

I am feeling better today and looking forward to Thanksgiving. It is important to remember all the wonderful things I do have. (Like a husband who cleaned the house today - oh how I love that he cooks and cleans.) I am also so very very thankful to have such amazing people living in my computer.

A and I first became a couple on Thanksgiving, so it's always a nice memory to have. We knew each other and were friendly. He had told me to give him a call if I came into town and I did. We went out for coffee and I ended up staying at his apartment until 4am, talking.

We always do Thanksgiving with his family. They don't do Christmas, so this is their holiday. And they always do it up right. I mean, I always loved T-day food and all, but wow. This family can COOK. I do feel bad about my parents being all alone this year though. My brother won't be coming home to visit until March and my sister won't come back until Christmas. In past years, they spent Thanksgiving with their best friends in town, but last year their friends both died within two weeks of one another. We invited them to come with us, but my mom said they would be fine by themselves. We are leaving Charlie with them, which I think my mom is looking forward to. She really misses her dog and I know she is looking forward to retirement this year so she can get another one. In the meantime, her grandpuppy is a good fill in.

In addition to the usual family Thanksgiving dinner, we are in Indy in the morning. One of my friends from high school has a brunch every year that her mom has hosted since we graduated. Originally it was a way of everyone catching up on college break, but this is the eleventh year and we are hoping to go forever. There are usually ten to twelve people. We have drinks, eat fresh fruit and bagels and sweet bread and her mom makes the most delicious noodle kugel ever. (God, the kugel is something I know everyone looks forward to every year. It is AMAZING. I got the recipie a few years ago but it was missing the magic touch.) We get some silly turkey gift and take a group picture which goes in the official Turkey Book.

So after a huge brunch, a huge dinner, and leftovers on Friday, I will be back twenty pounds heavier, with more leftovers and sweet potato pie. Until then, I wish all of you a happy Thanksgiving. For those of you not in the US, I will eat some extra for you. It's a sacrifice, but one that I am willing to make.

EDIT: Oh! And I am thankful, despite the fact that I wanted to go to bed early tonight so I could get sleep before tomorrow, that I am about to go out and meet up with my friends. My old speech partner proposed to his girlfriend at a basketball game tonight and (I assume she said yes) we're all supposed to go congratulate them.

25 comments:

  1. Sounds like it's gonna be quite a fun weekend for you, Io. Glad you'll be able to get your fill of food AND smiles & laughs all in one shot.

    Happy Gobble Day to you and A!
    (hey, I rhymed!!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm glad you decided not to go for that job. If it doesn't feel right, then it doesn't feel right and you have to go with your instincts because they always know best.

    You have a nice weekend ahead! It sounds like just the ticket right now and I hope you enjoy it to the fullest.

    BTW - Apparently, while playing around with my blog's settings, I did something wonky that required people to have a Wordpress account in order to comment. Yeah. Fixed that. :-) It was good to hear from you.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. The next few days are definitely something to be thankful over.

    I'm thinking of you, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Matt and I met each other on Thanksgiving, so it is extra special to me too. I hope you two have a happy one.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sending you a (((hug))) from London.

    Happy Thanksgiving. x

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happy Anniversary to you & A. Sounds like you will be fed often and fed well- two of my favorite things.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  7. Proposed at a basketball game? Lord, I hope she was the kind of girl that would find that appealing.

    I think you have to go with your gut on the job. So, congrat's on making a decision that works for you. And I'm sorry you're sad. I hope the next couple of days lift your spirits.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Try and have a happy day. I am planning on a wee bit of carb loading myself.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think if you have a job that makes you cry at the thought of leaving then it is def worth holding onto as tight as you can.

    I hope you feel a better and happy Thanksgiving!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm glad you have some fun activities in store. When all else fails, we can be thankful for good friends and family. I know that it doesn't always help when things are really low, but it's something.

    Hang in there. This too shall pass. ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  11. Happy Thanksgiving, my friend. I'm sorry it's been a hard week.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Only YOU know what's right for you. You can be making tons of money...but doing something you love is worth so much more. Good for you!
    I hope T-day went well & you had lots of goodies!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well...you can definitely eat on my behalf! Have fun!

    ReplyDelete
  14. My mother used to irritate the crap out of me with her comment "it's gonna be alright little chum" each time I mentioned that I was down in the dumps, way down, broke, directionless, fill in the blank. It sounded so trite and easy to say when I was in full on crisis mode. The point, though, is that it will be allright and (trite comment coming) and this too not only shall, but will pass. You've had some hits, some big hits. But you with your humor and smarts and charm, and your charming partner in crime, A, will come through. No doubt.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Basketball proposals! Welcome to the Hoosier state!

    I know it's been rough lately, but I'm glad you had a good time with old friends and cooking family. Sometimes, a little push like that is all you need to make things a bit more tolerable.

    Let me know if the blues return, and I'll come up and visit you. We'll do something silly...

    ReplyDelete
  16. What a wonderful holiday you have planned! I hope you enjoyed the kugel.

    It sounds like you made the right decision as far as the job goes. You have to do what's right in your heart. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh, honey, there is NOTHING irrational about your decision, or about your being depressed. Life's been really shitty for you lately, and you're using up all your energy trying to prop up A. I'm sure it's exhausting.

    I know that you're going to come through this and be okay, but it does sound horrible. Don't be too hard on yourself for getting depressed and scared. It's a scary time right now. Just keep afloat, and things will get better. They really will. They have to.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Happy Thanksgiving, Io. Such a rough year. I'm glad you and A have wonderful family and friends. They make it all so much warner.

    ReplyDelete
  19. ooh a difficult decision for you, but you have to make the right one for you. As Pepper says, if it doesn't feel right then it doesn't feel right.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I left something for you on my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I hear you on the holiday depression! I'm doing my best to not succomb...we'll see if it lasts though the dreaded Christmas!

    It sounds like your Thanksgiving with the in-laws was very nice. One year we went to my in-laws and my parents were alone. At the time I didn't realize how tough it would be for them. Great job for realizing!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sweet story about you and A.

    Sending you HUGS!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm sure you did the right thing by not applying for that job. I'm a firm believer in following your gut-if it is telling you something. If it didn't feel right, it probably wasn't.

    Your thanksgiving activities sound delicious-I haven't had kugel in a really long time. Hope you had a good time!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Staying at your current job sounds like the best decision for you! It is better to be happy than rich.

    ReplyDelete