Sunday, December 21, 2008

Well geeze.
I've recovered from the flu, but the past few weeks I've felt like a big depressed walking panic attack. I stopped blogging because I can walk around depressed and survive. But if I turn to introspection (Don't laugh. I count this as thought. For reals.) I start to panic and I can't breath. And whenever I tried to comment on somebody's blog I felt like I was going to spread my crazy. If something good happened I felt like people would see through my congratulatory words to me screaming and if something bad happened I wouldn't be able to cheer you up, I'd just encourage you to go off the cliff with me. (No, no, not suicidal. Just occasionally binge drinking and (god help me it';s hideous I know, I know) smoking. As a friend said to me as she saw me pick up a cigarette "What the fuck? When did you start smoking?! Think of your ovaries!"
Fuck my ovaries.)

So. As soon as I start to think I'm going to clean out my four hundred strong google reader and get my shit together (I signed up for ICLW. Good for forcing me to get it together.) my computer's airport card dies. So my internet access is going to spotty at best.
But I promise to come back soon. I miss you guys.