Monday, March 23, 2009

Becoming the norm

Sigh. A applied for a job at a college where we have a really good friend leading the department. It's close by, we love our friend (he actually married us), and it would have been really perfect.
A just talked to him and they offered the job to somebody else. But A was "a strong number two."
Too bad there's no consolation prizes for jobs.


And A is so hurt by this. For him it's just more confirmation that he is just not good enough. It just seems like crappy news is all we ever get anymore.
I know that in a few years we will look back and be able to talk about this period of being poor and probably laugh over some of it, but I am really, really ready for that time to hurry the fuck up and get here.


  1. SO sorry. My husband and I always say these years must be the worst we will go through.

    It has to get better.

  2. Damn that sucks, I'm sorry! I agree with both you and s.e., lets get to the other side, already!

  3. I am so sorry that you are there. It WILL end, though. Really, really it will. Because you and A are simply fabulous. Maybe something else will open up there, and they'll think of him?

  4. SO SO SORRY! Prayers are with you!

  5. I'm sorry hon. What utter suckitude.

  6. It will get better. But that doesn't help A deal with the shit that's just rained down on him.

    I've got a stupid hippy idea that when you're headed the wrong way--the way that isn't your real path or calling--all you get is no. When you find another approach, one that often ends up making you much happier, doors open.

    But don't tell A that. Just give him a hug and let him know he is good enough. Academia just sucks.

  7. Oh, that sucks! I've been number 2 for a number of jobs and it has felt like the ol' always a bridesmaid never the bride. I love when they tell you that too like you're suppose to feel better about it. I actually had one employer very recently tell me they had to hire the other person because she had more experience, but they liked me better and were hoping it didn't work out with the other lady - wtf?

  8. oh Io. I am sorry. It is especially hard when you feel like you have an "in" with a friend and it doesn't work out.

    Many hugs.

  9. That just sucks. I'm so sorry. I'm ready for you to be able to look back and laugh, too. (((hugs)))

  10. man, I am so, so sorry. Please pass my condolences to A_. The academic world is a total fucking mess right now. I know that he would totally have loved the job anyhow, but what I mean is that I blame A_'s not getting the job on the fact that academia has become a messed up place, not that he doesn't have mad teaching skillz.

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