I have a baby!
Four of them actually.
Ok, so they aren't really mine.
And maybe they aren't actually hoooman babies.
*Warning: I am sure that some of you are going to shake your heads and think or comment on how STUPID my course of action is/was, and I totally accept that, but please try to keep comments along the lines of constructive criticism that I can apply as opposed to telling me what an idiot I am for what is done. I'm already well aware I'm an idiot thankyouverymuch.*
This being the ghetto and all, we have lots of stray and feral cats. A few weeks ago this sweet cat started hanging out in our yard and accosting us with love every time he saw us. And meowing loudly for us to feed him.
*Stupid things #1 - should have realized this was not a mean scary feral and taken him to the humane society in hope that he would be adopted or something. But I think the humane society isn't accepting stray cats. And we worried that something would happen and he wouldn't get adopted and would be killed. Does the humane society do this? I don't even know. They are humane, right? But what does that mean?
I didn't put that much thought into it. Like I said, we have lots of strays around here.
*Stupid thing #2 - should not have started feeding him. I blame A for this. He's a softie.
Plus, it put the angry possum in our backyard where it was pepper sprayed by the po po. (We now make sure there is no food left out after dark.)
*Stupid thing #3 - should have realized that it was not a he. A fat he. Because he was a she. A pregnant she.
*Stupid thing #3.5 - should not have let A name her Tiger. No offense to anyone who has named their cat/dog/fish/child/blankie "Tiger"
So I realized that he looked suspiciously like a pregnant she about five or six days ago. And then she disappeared. And reappeared two days ago looking skinnier.
I came home from work today to find her with three itty bitty baby kittens mewling and rolling around. She jumped up to demand food and after she ate, ran off. I babysat for a couple minutes, then she came running back with another mewling kitten in her mouth.
A and I spent all evening watching the kittens and making them a box to live in for a while. It's not very attractive, but it has a warm blanket, it's waterproof, and there is room for Tiger to stretch out and nurse in, unlike the first box we made where she appeared to be laying on top of the kittens who can't crawl enough to get out from under her.She knocked these two out of the small box when she got up to get food. Ack! Wittle baby feets make me start talking wike a MORON.
This one is in the new roomier box with fancy blanket.
So. Maybe when I realized that she was a pregnant she-cat I should have taken her in for a late term cabortion or something, but I didn't. I am an infertile after all. Although I am pro cho*ce. Huh. OK, let's not get too deep, my brain will explode. It's a cat.
So what do I do now oh great internets? I've been trying to read up on what to do. We can't bring them inside - our two cats and dog might now take kindly to them, plus the the thought fleas or feline HIV or something makes me nervous. Apparently we should socialize the kittens to be cool with humans so they can be adopted and not turn into feral cats. But do we try and find them homes? Call the humane society? I just don't know. Tell me.
(One last note...is it wrong that I am sort of jealous of a cat? I mean, the bitch had QUADS.)
Now. For my mush.
I love you guys!
I got some socks. And by some socks, I mean four(!) pairs of very cute socks with hearts and peace signs all over them.
(Oo! I just realized you can kind of see my toenail through there. I just got my first pedicure ever a couple weeks ago because my friend E paid for it as a treat. Bad. So good. Bad.)
I would show you all four, but three of them are somewhere in the great laundry cycle that is the pile slowly taking over my second bedroom. This is because I loved them so much that I immediately
wore them upon tearing open my package from the kick ass Cece. Thank you Cece!!!
You must have known that I don't do laundry often enough and often have a sock shortage.
I had been lurking and occasionally commenting on some ttc & infertility message boards for months when I first found infertility blogs. A had been told by our doctor a few months before he needed to go in to get an SA done as a first step, but he was dragging his feet. I had a feeling *something* was wrong and I guess we qualified as infertile seeing as how we hadn't gotten knocked up despite trying for well over a year. But it wasn't until we finally found out that there was a real solid you-are-definitely-not-having-a-child-without-extraordinary-measures reason that I felt maybe I could join in the blogging. God it was nerve wracking. You guys all seemed SO incredibly cool and interesting and brilliant. For some reason I didn't think I'd be welcome in the club. I felt young and dumb and incapable of writing anything poetic or deep or interesting. It seems stupid, but I still sometimes marvel that anyone is willing to talk to me.
But you do.
I have made some incredible friends. Some have become real life friends, some have become friends that I call on the phone or get presents from, some of you still live in my computer. But all of you have been supportive and affirming and just plain fucking awesome.
Things have not worked out according to plan this past year. We went from hopeful that we could pursue treatment after saving up to being completely poor ass broke. It's humbling and awful and embarrassing. Without you, I honestly think I might have crumbled. Ok, crumbled more than I did. And not been able to pick up the pieces.
I love you.