Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Remember me?

I was at a garage sale and bought a motherfucking bumbo seat.

For those of you that are not aware, a bumbo seat is this nifty little seat for zee babies.

I saw this seat in its pristine condition and it was a great deal and the people threw in a really cute dog collar for me to give Charlie's best buddy. My mom asked me why I was buying it and I lied. I told her I had a friend that was looking for one. (And no, I'm not coming back to blogging to tell you that I got knocked up and just haven't told my mom yet.) I just wanted one.

I'm sure there is some psychology term for being in denial and having all that crap you try to suppress come squeezing out the cracks somewhere in your life, but my psych class was a huge 8am lecture so I only showed up for the first class and the final. But whatever that is called, my armchair diagnosis came after I bought this motherfucking bumbo seat.

My last post was all about going down to N-ville and having a kick ass time. And I did, people, I did. I drank like my liver was still 20 and I didn't get enough sleep and I laughed. I met a gazillion amazing people and we talked about their films and art and politics and what a dick W*lliam Shitner was for not staying at the party long enough for anyone to meet him. And while I was down there I didn't think about not having kids.

I got back and was reading blogs and it started to feel like every person in the IF blogosphere was either pregnant or parenting. And as happy as I am for each of those friends, I felt like I had to get away for awhile. I wanted to get back to that mental place where I wasn't thinking about kids.

Yeah. That shit didn't work. So I'm back and I am going to be better than ever. (Hmmm..where have we heard that before? Oh. Right. Last time I came back to blogging after dropping off the face of the earth.) Seriously though. If you're reading this on g00gle reader or something, click over and check out my fancy new blog design from Calliope. She did a kick ass job and now I feel all primped and ready to go again. It will hopefully keep me from buying as much baby stuff at garage sales, though Calliope is getting a nice aqua bumbo seat mailed to her.

Let's catch you up to date:

1. A_ passed the bar, which sadly didn't equal sudden and instant wealth or fancy law job. But he did get a job as an associate professor at a university here in town (not the same one he used to teach at.) It pays decently, but nothing extraordinary. But it will keep us from having to beg my parents for a loan or start dealing crack. If we are careful and save, we should be able to try and get knocked up sometime within the next century. (I'm shooting for a year.) He's doing law on the side, though it's slow going to get started and he's spent more then he has made.

2. I am going to have another part time job next year coaching college speech. It doesn't pay massive amounts of money, but it will be really nice to have a team again. They are all good kids and I love the people I will be working with.

3. Charlie is still the cutest dog ever.

4. We took in the mother cat and four kittehs. I managed to adopt out all of them, which was fantastic. I think they all went to good homes and Fat Fluffy (my favorite kitten) and the mama cat are both with people I am friends with on faceb00k and they have posted great pictures.

5. My convention at work was great, other than the night I drank too much tequila (damn guy poured me a FULL GLASS, what was I supposed to do?), had a run in with two whores who didn't understand that nobody wanted to buy their services, and apparently almost got arrested because I was trying to break up a fight between two of my guys by grabbing them both by the collars and shoving their faces together while I growled at them.

6. I am planning to retile my bathroom floor this weekend while A is having a man weekend. We only have one bathroom, so I am slightly worried that we might go down to 0 if I screw this up.

7. I'm thinking about foster care. There is so much to say here that I can't think of what to write. So I will leave that for another post, because yes bitches, I am back to posting.

What did I miss while I was gone?


  1. Hey, I remember you, and I missed you tons. Can't wait to read more from you because I really missed your magical sense of humor.

  2. I remember you! I missed you too!

    Love the new header. Calliope is amazing.

    Very cool on the bar fight. You want to go beat up on the jerk semi-truck driver I dealt with today?

    Welcome back.

  3. Glad to have you back :). I had just started reading your blog when you popped off the radar for a bit.

    New header is awesome, btw.

  4. I am soooo glad you are back. And I would warn you not to read me, because I don't want to make you sad, but you already did. Now, what can I do to make you happy? The blog looks GREAT, BTW. Love the header, love the color. Have missed your unique humor SO much! Now, don't disappear on us again.

  5. so glad that you're back!!! and i'm loving the new look!

    btw, what colour is the bumbo?

  6. Welcome back! Your blog looks fantastic! Calliope did a GREAT job!

  7. I was just thinking the other day, "When is that bitch gonna write another post???" (aka, "Geez, I really miss my iBFF. I hope she's not gone forever.").

    I am thrilled about A's job, and about your side job. And yeah, some psychology jargon relating to subconcious desires, etc.- I get it. If you remember some of the earlier pictures I took, then you recall that I bought three fucking children's books in German, and then totally lied about why (they're for me! something I can read and use to aid my learning of the German language!). I don't know. I don't even have a diagnosis (other than PCOS which has been treated for years now), so I suppose I have no reason to think that I mightn't get pregnant sans assistance, but really. I also have a decade of unprotected sex with more than one partner which has taught me otherwise.

    Fuck, I don't know. I don't know why I bought baby books in German. I don't know why I bought adorable springy animal things (that would work as an AWESOME mobile, is what I was really thinking... hang them in the kitchen, my ass.) I don't know why I do any of these things, but it's like hope is creeping back in and I'm terrified, because with hope comes the inevitable death of hope.

    Suck. That's all a long way of saying bumbo chair for Io = baby books for Kate.

    And yes. For a while there, did it not seem that everyone (EVERYONE) had an "I've got news!" moment??? Makes it hard to read sometimes...

    Anyhow, I'm glad you're back. You have been missed.

  8. Oh, and your new blog design is awesome.

  9. YAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I've missed you. And I love love love your new blog design.

    I totally understand if you want to avoid my blog (I went private...did I send you access?) but can I keep up with you anyway? I miss you.

  10. Welcome back! I love the new blog design. Looking forward to reading more!

  11. Love the new layout and header. So happy to know that you are alive, safe and relatively happy.

    Missed you lots.

  12. Glad to have you back!

    And your new header is excellent.

  13. motherfucking bumbo... love it! i remember constantly doing stuff like that- secretely love/hating all the kids birthdays & new babies i had to shop for. i always overdid because ~i~ wanted those things for myself.

    so happy about A- & your part time gig- very cool not having to sell crack! and the new layout is the shit!

    you have my full endorsement in steering clear of my blog- these days it's nothing but woe is us no job no money... & all about the pumpkin. but i hope you don't disappear again- i've really missed your posts!

  14. Io, Io, Io!!! Your back!! Oh-how I missed you! :)

    I love the new digs!

  15. (I missed you more than you think I possibly could)

    Anal leakage. THAT is what you missed. Oh, and I wrote a book proposal and got some agents.

    But seepage is cooler.

  16. I motherfucking LOVE IT that you're back! YES, BITCHES, IO IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!! And your new header and design are awesome - one of these days I'll get around to working with Cali on something myself, cause I'm so jealous of everyone else's super style-y blogs.

    I'm glad to hear that you spent your time away getting almost-arrested. Frankly, I would expect nothing less from you.

    Oh my God, I just missed you so much and am just feeling so great commenting on your blog again. Woot!

  17. Io my darling!!! So glad to see you back in blogland! Although I know how to find you in a few ways when necessary. Love, love, love the new blog look! So glad A passed the bar and is reasonably employed. Cool on the speech coach job - you will kick ass in that role. Yeah that all the kitties have new homes! That makes me soooo happy.

    Hmm what did you miss with me - well I went private on my blog since we are using a known donor. My cycle got canceled in May, I had surgery Memorial Day weekend, I've had a couple emotional meltdowns since (surprise preggo announcement #3 from SIL on Father's Day was the most recent), and finally looking at the future with hope - I may, I repeat may be pregnant by age 41 with some luck. Just started DE cycle back up again - mid July for ER and ET. If it fails we are done - we'll grieve and then live child free. Tarzan is still laid off, but I am employed. That's my update.

  18. YAY!!! So glad to see you!

    LOVE the new digs.

    YAY for new jobs and bar passing! Hallelujah!

    I'm sorry about the bad feelings. I'm sorry I may be adding to them with my own pregnancy. :( I know them all too well.

  19. I'm glad you're back. I miss you terribly when you're gone.

    You've probably caught up on me already, but in a nutshell, my last cycle with Chance and Apollo ended in another fracking chemical. C&A have painfully decided to try to live life child-free and I'm back to trying to match again. In the meantime, as of yesterday I'm going to keep myself occupied by trying to lose my ass.

  20. I'm *not* back, nor do I think I will be in the C2T sense since I'm all termed out, but I am (shhhh) still dropping in from time to time on a few select blogs written by my fave chicks who are not yet knocked up or writing about the hazards of motherhood (she says sipping on a glass of wine glad to not be worrying about anyone's bath time).

    It's our secret 'kay? ;-)

  21. I am just so damned glad you are back. I was out of town for a week and can't believe I missed your homecoming.