Friday, October 30, 2009

I want to read and comment and all that, but I've been feeling crappy all day. Then tonight I figured it out. I have a motherfucking UTI. I think it has been years since I had one and guess what? It still sucks.

Also, I am out of Halloween candy.

Anyone turning the lights off and yelling at kids to get off their lawn tomorrow?

Thursday, October 22, 2009


I tried to think of something exciting to do, but I couldn't quite bring myself to try the suggested juggling of fireworks. Though we did have a big kaboom in town today when a tanker exploded on a busy section of highway.

Last night I stayed up until midnight working on a speech and really got into it - I think I did a halfway decent job of fixing it up and I had a lot of ideas for where the student can go with it. It's hard - it's supposed to be a type of speech that is very funny, but this kid is very religious so I can't make my completely off color jokes. I have to keep it clean. I struggled with that a LOT.

Today I went to work and then met my fellow coaches for a drink. We ate some garlic fries. Then at home I had some garlic bread that A made. I am going to smell like a garlic factory for a few days. I am one of those people that has garlic and it just ooooozes out of my pores. But I love it so.

Since being tired and smelling like I rub a clove of garlic over my body after showering aren't very exciting, I am going to tell you about things I like.

Things I Like

A few months or years or decades ago, Calliope mentioned something about wanting to do reviews. And then like a gazillion years after that I thought "yeah, that would be fun because I want to tell the world about my bed!" And now, a lifetime after that, I have decided to tell you about things I like.
Why? No reason. How did I pick these things? Um. I bought them all fairly recently and liked them and thought you might like them too? Why should you care? I dunno. Why am I asking questions that you would probably not ask but pretending to be you while I ask them?
Because it's my blog bitches. Shut up.
Wait. I asked that.

1. Sarah Peyton Mattress. (Who the F is Sarah Peyton? Why doe she make mattresses? I do not know. I do not care enough to google it.) I bought a new mattress as soon as A got a job. We bought a big nice cushiony mattress a few years ago and I made A get a pillow top because I love sleeping inside a marshmallow. The only problem is that eventually the marshmallow became molded to his shape and was killing his back. When he was unemployed and we were daydreaming about being able to buy something other than food and COBRA, the first big purchase he always brought up was a new mattress. So after he got a job I ordered the cheapest memory foam mattress I could find. I hate firm, but I thought for him, I would tough it out.
I fucking love this thing. I sleep so well. Other than a couple days of faint chemically smells it has been a dream. And it was less than half the price of our old mattress once you added in the 20% off coupon I found online. I am totally a believer in this foam thing now.
It probably causes cancer and I just don't care. I will make up for it with my other happy healthy things I like. I give it an A-

2. Sweet potatoes. They are delicious, healthy and easy to make. I give them an A+

3. Kashi frozen meals. For all that I have a gourmet chef husband, I often grab a frozen meal to take to work. I bought some of these when the ghetto Kroger had them on manager's special and they were delicious (although one of guys who lobbies for the P0lice walked in and made comments about the extreme garlic smell after I ate one. Like I said.) Anywho. They were on sale for $3 last week adn i had a coupon for $1 off, so it was still a shockingly high $2, but I got a Mayan Harvest Bake. It was just fantastic. (And vegan!) And unlike any other frozen meal you can get. I like Kashi cereal, but Kashi frozen meals? Off the chain my friends, off the chain. I give them an A.

4. Instead cup. I remember in high school having a friend come up and tell me that her Aunt Flo was coming to visit. She was looking at me really intently and asked me if I had anything. It was like somebody had just told me they owned a cat and then asked if I ate breakfast. I had never heard anyone use a euphamism for menstruation and it took several embarrasing moments before she whispered "A PAD! Do you have a PAD?!" I didn't but I had a tampon, which she declined. Somehow she had been transported from a time when tampons were strange and newfangled and a woman should think twice before putting something up her vag*na. I felt like her when I finally tried the instead cup. I am only vaguely crunchy granola when it suits me, so wearing a cup instead of a tampon or pad seemed very foreign. But being all down with being cheap won me over when I saw it on the clearance table. Hot damn I love it. No matter how thin a pad is, is usually feels awkward and I worry that it has bunched to one side and I am bleeding all over yet another pair of underwear. And my period does this thing where it comes super heavy for a day or two, then stops for a day, then gets medium for another day or two. So inevitably, I end up putting in a tampon on the 2nd or 3rd day only to realize six hours later that I have to pull dry cotton out. Or I pee and then the string is all doing its absorbant thing so I have to take it out and put in a new tampon. But the cup thing? I stuck it in and it was (except for cramps and my desire to kill) just like I was not having my period at all. And I coudl leave it in all day. It is a bit messy to take out, but what isn't? There is also the diva cup which is reusable, so I may switch and get one of those when I run out of these. Am I totally behind the times? I have friends that use this and now I feel like they must have viewed me like I viewed my friend in high school. Hello Me! Welcome to the 21st century. I give it an A-

Okay, fill me in. What am I missing out on in life? (Besides the whole kid thing. I know about that one.)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The exciting life of Io

Not much happening 'round these here parts. I've been busy, it's just not terribly exciting. I'm coaching college this year, which I really enjoy, but it takes a lot of time. Friday night I helped run a fundraiser at the Hall which would have been more fun if I could drink (they had good beer too!) but I knew I needed to get up early. I took the kids to a tournament on Saturday. I left my house at 4:30am and got home at 11:30pm and it's just an exhausting activity. It sounds pathetic to say that since it's not like I was running, but it takes lot of mental effort to judge and comment on speeches all day and try and actually give them something constructive to work on.

Sunday was spent with a tournament hangover, Monday after work I attended the team meeting and then had a coaches meeting, and tonight I coached for a couple hours before coming home. So yeah. I have absolutely nothing exciting to write about unless you are just dying to hear about me working on rewriting internal previews or something. (No, you aren't. Trust me.)
More coaching tomorrow night.
Um. That's it. I'll try and have something exciting happen on Thursday so I can blog about it!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I'm slightly concerned: After coaching speech interp events tonight I am thinking I have given the kids pieces that are all about IF. There is the infertility duo, the adoption poetry, and now there is a prose about a woman whose husband had his sperm aspirated because he has CBAVD. It's all totally a coincidence, but I feel like people will wonder how our whole team ended up doing pieces about infertility.

Of course, there was also a poetry program about drinking too much, which I certainly did this weekend. (Totally worth it.)

Several girlfriends and I rented a house on Lake Michigan last weekend. I left work early on Friday and was all stressed out because I was running late. One of my friends saw me and looked terribly concerned and asked me what was wrong. I realized I was stressing out about leaving half an hour late for vacation.

Yeah. So I calmed the fuck down.

I drove up with one other friend (one was supposed to come with us, but had the flu, three were coming later, and one lives in Michigan) and after we finally got on the road with our freedom and massive sugary caffeine-filled drinks, we were both loopy with joy. So loopy that half an hour in, we decided to get tattoos. In the next town we passed.

These fancy iphones and blackberries have their evil side - I was able to google tattoo parlors, find one that had a website and looked decent, and get directions there. We decided that so long as it didn't look scary, we'd be good and then M said "It would be awesome if they had some sort of 'buy one, get one!'"

The tattoo parlor did not look scary and wouldn't you know it - on the door there was a sign that for a limited time you could buy one, get one.

Once we got there (about the time the late group was supposed to arrive - whoops! We were supposed to get dinner ready) it was fairly late and we couldn't find the key for a while, but eventually we got into the house that I will buy when I win the lottery. It was nothing terribly fancy, but it was fantastic.

And being there with these amazing women was unbelievable. We drank wine and ate and curled up in front of the fireplace to watch movies and sat in the hot tub and ate and walked on the freezing cold beach and drank wine and ate and went to the little town to try on ridiculous hats and buy overpriced pottery. And ate. (We were all in charge of one meal, but each person somehow brought enough to feed a family for a month. And oh, the ginger almond muffins and chicken salad sandwiches and baked sweet potatoes...)

I just can't express what a wonderful weekend it was. The women I was with are all so amazing and strong and funny in totally offbeat ways. It's nice to feel like you can be yourself completely in a group setting without thinking somebody is giving you the hairy eyeball.
We are planning to do this trip every year (and M and I think everyone else should get tattoos, one a year and there can be a bye year next year because there were two this year. Nobody else seemed to jump on the idea though.)

I was thinking there might be another great group of women to do a stress-free weekend with...Wishing4one, are there any nice rental places in Egypt?!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Random thoughts popping into my head

  1. Well, once again, I should be doing laundry...It's not that I really mind laundry, it's just the fact that I have to go down to the basement to do it. If we're ever fabulously wealthy (or just not poor) I will have the laundry in my closet.
  2. I'm leaving tomorrow for a weekend in Michigan with my writing group girls, although one has sadly been stricken with the flu. I am going for my flu shot at HQ tomorrow morning. Having the flu last year was the worst three weeks - the whole not being able to get enough oxygen thing sucks ass.
  3. Honeycrisp apples dipped in Greek Gods honey yogurt is seriously amazing.
  4. I am in charge of dinner Saturday night and I bought steaks. They look delicious. I'm also making baked sweet potatoes.
  5. While I was shopping, Charlie was getting pissed off about being left at home so he took a bunch of cat shit out of the litter box and put it under a chair in a pile. Nasty.
  6. I coached speech on Wednesday. I have two girls doing a cutting from the play I mentioned before (What They Have) and I joked to the one who is supposed to be pregnant that the last girl I coached in a duo who was playing pregnant ended up GETTING pregnant. So she better be careful. I hope she doesn't end up pregnant.
  7. After I coached them, the one I joked with stayed to work on her poetry program which is about ad0ption. It was totally an infertility themed night, and somehow I ended up mentioning that we were infertile. She gave me the "You should adopt!" speech, which included mentioning her parents had adopted three children. One "only cost $100!" because he was black. Er. Yeah. I was too tired to really respond to that properly.
  8. I got a kick ass pair of brand new Justin boots for $5 at a garage sale.
  9. I am writing on my work laptop which I have been bringing home ever since I dropped and killed my macbook. I'm hoping our friend can at least salvage my photos, which of course I never backed up.
  10. I love crunchy peanut butter.

Monday, October 5, 2009

My apologies are stale

Do you read plays?
I started reading plays in high school. Being quite the little drama queen (Shocking, eh?), I got involved with theater. I also did interp events for sp.eech team which involved making cuttings from plays. In college, it was more of the same and I used to spend hours in the dusty stacks of the library (which, as I understand all school libraries are, was supposedly sinking into the ground from the weight of the books) rifling through thin cheaply printed playbooks.
When I went to NYC in August I spent a few hours at the Drama Book Shop flipping through plays trying to find material for the kids I coach. On the shelf of new plays I found one that made my chest tighten as soon as I read the description on the back:

What They Have by Kate Robin
Set in contemporary Los Angeles, the play explores the emotional strains that the decision to have a child -- or the inability to have one -- can put on married couples during the years when a pregnancy can be a tense and potentially traumatic experience, not to mention an expensive one. More broadly, it asks how we get what we want out of life, and how we learn to stop wanting it if we can't get it.

The two couples in the play start with one couple having had three miscarriages and no money to pursue treatment, while the other couple has money and is pregnant and is basically an IFers worst nightmare. But later on, the wealthy friends lose the baby and can't get pregnant again even with IVF, ICSI, etc, while the other couple has finally gotten far into a pregnancy and suddenly forgotten what infertility is like. [Edit: I know most of you have not forgotten, you are all incredible and sweet, it's just this character!]
At one point the two female friends are together and the newly infertile is admitting that they have been trying IVF and failing. After her friend asks her why she didn't tell her, Connie replies:
You don't want to hear about me. At first you'll feel bad for me, but then, in about ten minutes, I'll be ranting, because I've totally lost my mind, and you'll start thinking maybe I'm a little self-indulgent, what with all the problems in the world, the war and the famine, I can't expect to have everything, and actually now that you think of it, I have gotten everything I ever wanted (which isn't true, at all, but I know you'll think it), so isn't it only fair that this one thing should evade me?Isn't there a really wonderful spiritual lesson, a character building exercise to be found in all this? And the less compassion I feel from you, the more shrill and intolerable I'll become until you'll move past thoughts like "Why doesn't she just adopt?" to "Maybe it's better she not be a mother actually. Some women really shouldn't and Connie's always been a bit brittle, ambitious. She's not nurturing at all. Thank God she can't conceive. In fact, her infertility is yet another proof that God does exist and is always making the best decisions for the greater good."

(There is so much more. If I could buy this play and send it to all of you, I would. It's almost like reading a blog in play form.)

The feeling of almost losing your mind? And recognizing it, being deeply embarrassed by it, but still being unable to stop? I have that.

I'm also embarrassed by my lack of blogging and reading and supporting my friends. But I've played that tune before and my apologies grow stale - I just hope you understand, and if not, well, I understand. (Um, or quite possibly most people barely noticed and are now thinking I should shut up and move along here...)

So I was really busy for a minute there. And then I was lazy. And then I was both lazy and busy. And then I started looking at my reader so I could catch up and it sort of hit me that everyone was pregnant or parenting. (Yes, I know it's not true, but.) On an individual level I am really happy for everyone. I can look at pictures of Calliope's W and fall half in love with him or I can hear about Shinejil's belly growing and be thrilled for her, but it all just sort of adds up somehow.
Also, two of my real life infertile friends posted ultrasounds on their faceb0oks in the last two weeks. And instead of being happy that they had moved beyond, I saw one ultrasound and thought petty dark thought about the fact that all she had to do was a couple IUIs.
I don't want to be a selfish bitch. I just am.

New York was fantastic (and crazy hot - somehow nobody sweats as much as do, I was positively drippy, especially when I walked several miles to a party where I was surrounded by thin gorgeous German women. I think I may have alarmed them with my just-got-out-of-a-pool-with-my-clothes-on appearance.) My best friend L always makes me happy even when we are driving each other nuts. (I try to force her into loving BSG, she tries to force me into loving fondue brunches. She won the fondue argument, I lost the BSG one, but I am convinced it was just because she decided not to love it because I told her she would.)
The best part of NYC was that I got to meet Dora, who is totally a badass and is no doubt going to raise an awesome girl. I wish I had half the cool factor.

Really, not much is new - mostly I'm working. I've been coaching in the evenings, which is half fun and half makes me want to pull my hair out. (Oh sheltered Catholic kids who attend Mass twice on Sundays and use GW Bush as an example of a great president in your impromptu speeches...) I took the kids to their first tournament and taking them to another in a couple weeks where I will hopefully NOT run into A's ex girlfriend who had no trouble popping out a singleton and twins and who hates me despite the fact that she is all happy familied.

Okay, I must get moving now, quite literally, because this house next door that has been on stilts for two months?
They are lowering it today and I don't want to die when it collapses dramatically onto my office, so I'm grabbing up the dogs and heading next door.