Friday, June 1, 2012

Oh for REAL?!

So, this IVF cycle I am about to do was a long time coming. To recap: After A got the diagnosis of CBAVD we managed to get the money together for a MESA and putting his sperm on ice. Didn't have all the money for IVF, but we had a plan to save it. Then A lost his job and was basically unemployed for a year, so goodbye savings. We started to save up again slowly, but I felt that I was in a bad place mentally. Now we finally have money and I feel good so we get to play embryo roulette! The tentative date (assuming everything magically works the way we hope it does) we are looking at for transfer is July 14th. I just finished our annual convention at work, my next project is end of June and easy, after that I am good until August when I am going to be a bridesmaid. So, totally golden! Middle of July is perfect! Until about five minutes ago when A got a call. A's dad has kidney failure. A's sister got tested to be a donor. She is a match. Yay. They just scheduled the surgery for July 15. And A's sister's husband just left her to live with his boyfriend(!) and forgot that he is a father. So they need us to take four children for a week or two. On July 14. ............................... We can *totally* make this work, right?


  1. Wow. What a gamut of emotions for you!

    It can totally work (what a way to distract yourself...). You, and the kidney, and the future embryoes can do it!

  2. Isn't it wonderful how life works? Why throw a wrench in the works, when you can toss an entire toolbox?!?

    Much luck on all fronts - the IVF, your FIL, your SIL and the kids...

    It will work out. Call it bootcamp for parenting.

  3. Holy wow. But yes you can DO IT. Sorry to hear about A's dad - hoing it all works out for all of you xoxo

  4. Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)June 1, 2012 at 9:57 PM

    Hey, that sounds like the perfect 2ww distraction. I know it's not ideal timing, and the IVF process is emotional enough without worrying about your BIL refusing to be a father (seriously. I'm not coming down on people figuring themselves out and "switching teams", as it were, post-family, but just because you find yourself no longer attracted to your spouse and/or their gender does not mean that you are suddenly not a father to your children. Bullshit.), and worrying about your FIL and your SIL and their surgery and then, you know, your own recovery from (minor) surgery...

    BUT, not to be all fatalistic, but these things have a way of working themselves out. I started my cycle with a last-minute rush shipment of drugs to texas because they thought I'd ovulated early and I needed to start drugs while I was acting as photographer at my brother's wedding(which necessitated informing my parents of our IVF plans, which, up to that point, I had NO intention of doing... because otherwise, how would I explain a giant box of needles and syringes and tiny vials of menopause drugs showing up at their house?). I then found out while literally on my way out of town that I had a humongo cyst that was going to eff up my cycle if I didn't have it aspirated, but it could only be aspirated on a Thursday (don't ask) and it *was* Thursday and I was in a car three hours out of town, so I had to delay everything a week, and JEBUS-H-CHRIST, stress overload from ovaries that acted like they weren't responding and a cycle coordinator who was really rigid and not very informative, and a dick-swinging contest between the two lead doctors at our clinic with us in the middle (eeeeew), medication errors, and urgent early morning calls rescheduling my retrieval, and god, the PIO, the motherfucking evil PIO...

    I say all this not to say that I had anywhere near the kind of stress that you may be having, but only to say that frankly, among the whole IVF process, for me, the real stress all happened before and during the retrieval process. Once we were past retrieval, even though the stress certainly didn't end, it was all out of my hands. The transfer was no big deal, and the days after that were only stressful because of the motherfucking evil PIO-- the major stress of every-two-day doctor visits and tons of bloodwork and will-they-won't-they grow, etc. was all over by the time of transfer.

    So really. If there were a time in the coming months for them to schedule this surgery and to require your help, this *might* actually end up being one of the better times to do so. Yeah, the kids might have to deal with seeing giant progesterone needles hanging around places, or they may have to deal with you and Al being extra emotional, but they'll be okay. And you'll be okay. And everything will be okay. Because I say so.

  5. Wowie, that's a load. I highly suggest upping your netflix to the maximum (presuming these 4 children are old enough for a good dose of TV) and calling in all the reserves. Eh, and throttling your BIL while you're at it for his poor timing.

    Needless to say, this baby is meant to me and I'm sure you'll make it work.

  6. Holy moly! That's A LOT of stuff to deal with!

    I agree with the others, the IVF may be a good distraction.

  7. WELL, SHIT! --> (I got to say it again. Go, ME!)

    You can totally make this work. Sending up prayers for your SIL (surgery and husband *wow*), your FIL, and Al. And you, of course.

    You can *totally* make this work with the kids, Io. How old are they?

  8. Holy shit! That's a load on your plate. You can do this!