Just random things while I sit here and ignore work
1. I am terrible about being patient, especially in the short term. I waited years to do this, so you'd think these next few weeks would be a breeze. But I am like a crack addict in withdrawal. I want to start injecting things and it's making me itchy that I have to wait another week and a half. Like, PHYSICALLY itchy. I'm finger tapping and clock watching and not really interested doing much else.
2. The last time I took birth control pills was in college. I was not-exactly-dating this guy that I was acting with in a play (and who gave me a complex about my calves after he asked me if I could "do something" about them.) Anyways, we had a bit of a scare after a c0ndom broke, which got me into the doctors office for some bcps. I stayed on them for about a year. That is the extent of my birth control experience. Taking them now I am having some slight cramping, which is not bad, just surprising. If simple birth control makes me crampy I am already giving the side eye to the rest of the drugs. I have a feeling I am going to grumble a lot.
3. As I was leaving the house this morning I saw that I had gotten
something in the mail from the doctor. I was thinking it was maybe my
test results in writing, but it was a bill for $75. They had submitted
my visit to the insurance company, who of course denied it. I kind of
want to call the office and talk to the receptionist who insisted on
copying the card even after I told her that NO REALLY, MY INSURANCE WONT
COVER IT and tell her to take my card out of the file. My eyes just
rolled so hard when I saw they did this that if it happens again they
will probably get stuck that way. And then I would be infertile and blind.
Okay, now we get to the real part, at which I am terrible. Apologizing.
4. I am so sorry. I was a real asshole for going off and abandoning blogging like I did. Finding this community was one of the best things that ever happened to me and it was rude to drop off the face of the earth without so much as a how d'ye do.
It became overwhelming to focus on something that wasn't going to happen anytime soon (see #1 about patience) and I felt like I was falling more and more behind.
Behind on life. Behind on having anything to contribute. Behind on keeping up with other blogs and commenting.
But I should have wrapped up a little better. I am going through my reader and catching up with people's lives (dude, some of you had like two or three babies while I was gone!), but a lot of my old friends stopped blogging.
Some were an official end, announcing that they now had a child or had come to terms with a new direction in life without children and felt that they were ready to stop blogging. Some I have kept up with in real life or facebook.
Others left me hanging in the middle of IVF cycles or everyday chatter. It's like walking around a house and seeing that somebody was in the middle of dinner or reading a book or paying bills when *poof*...they disappear and never return.
I hope they are doing well, all my old friends. That they found peace and joy, that their lives turned out okay, even if they got pushed down a path they hadn't planned on walking.