Wednesday, July 25, 2012


Why oh why does my clinic make me wait until 13dp3dt to have my beta? Seriously, it's another BFN this morning and I have a bottle of tequila waiting for my official grieving period. Also, I would very much like to stop getting PIO injected each night. My ass hurts. But even though it's pretty fucking clear that this IVF shit is a bust I am still following the rules. And it sucks.

The other day all the old biddies (by which I mean middle aged male firefighters) that I work with were gossiping that I must be pregnant because I haven't been drinking coffee and I haven't been joining them for beer after work.And dammit, maybe it's not a healthy response, but I want a beer, maybe even need a beer. Or five.

I am taking the day off tomorrow to take the nieces to the zoo. I think I am going to call and see if I can just go ahead and do my beta then - if I have to pay to get this shit done I would at least like to do it when I'm already off from work.

Time for my only-tangentially-related random story that gets me off of my woe-is-me despair kick.

So, since I am a moron who clearly still had a teeny bit of hope yesterday I stopped to buy more hpts. I have a ton of internet cheapies, but had used all the fancy FRERs. I don't generally go to Walmart, but I was dropping off my bridesmaid's dress to be altered and it was nearby. (A week and a half before the wedding - I thought I might need to wait in case I was all bloated and happy and pregnant. Ha.Ha.) Anywho, I go into the Walmart, fail to find the peesticks for the longest time, then finally find them only to see that somebody had done bought up all the FRERs! I grabbed Answer brand instead since it claimed to be awesome and had three sticks in a package for $9. Boo Walmart I bring it up to the cashier (along with a few other items - I am like a teenager buying condoms, you can't just buy the hpt because then it is glaringly obvious what you came in for. If I buy other things then it's like "Oh I came in here for these Luna Bars and crayons and hmmm...the hpts just somehow fell into my basket so please don't comment on them."
They always do comment on them though. ALWAYS. I don't know if this happens to everybody or if it's an midwest thing or I just look like somebody who wants to hear what you have to say about my pregnancy test or what. Normally, it's something where they are trying to be nice. They'll say "Good luck" and give me a weird smile and I'll smile weirdly back at that and say "thanks" and run the fuck out of the store.
But Walmart apparently has a special breed of cashier who is friendly in a completely different way.

(Um, if you're super pro life you might want to stop reading now.)

The cashier rings everything up without commenting, then asks if that was everything. The biker dude standing behind me jokes about me buying his beer, I laugh at his stupid joke, joke back and then the cashier goes
"OH! I am so sorry, I usually tell people before I ring it up, but you shouldn't buy your pregnancy tests here."
She then proceeds to (loudly) explain that I could go get a *free* test at the crisis pregnancy center down the street because they are soooo nice and will get you and your baby signed up for medicaid and I just have to make an appointment and BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Seriously. Biker dude and I both sort of stood there waiting for her to finish talking. I'm trying to figure out if she realizes the place she is talking about is one of those creepy anti-abortion places that lies to you about shit and whether I should go say something to her manager about the fact that she is promoting this place and dear god is she ever going to stop talking?

She finally finishes, I stare at her for a couple seconds and then I mutter something that makes no sense, like "Oh, these are for IVF so it's okay. Thanks..."

Despite my complete disgust for "crisis pregnancy centers" I will admit that as I walked out I also spent half a second thinking "I wonder if they use FRERs, it might be worth...nah."


  1. My friend had a good name for those people: idjits.

  2. Sending you BIG hugs! Hoping you have a Wonderful Wednesday. :) My fingers are still crossed for you!!

  3. Ugh! The waiting! I hope they let you test on your day off.

    What a dummy that cashier was.

  4. FRER's have changed and they now SUCK. They will LOOK positive b/c they now have an idenention in them. And for those of us who STARE at the test, it looks like a faint positive (the new ones anyways). I have 2 friends who thought they were pregnant b/c of this. I have ALWAYS used answer brand. They have showed + on me sooner than FRER. In face, yesterday a friend took a FRER, it was stark negative, then she took a digi. It said "pregnant" :)

  5. I just want to say I'm sorry Io and I know how you feel. Sending you lots of hugs through the computer. Drink up as soon as you can!

  6. Sitting anxiously waiting with you....and it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings. So don't give up yet.

    Come visit!

  7. Omgosh, I can't believe she said that to you!! I've bought about a bazillion HPTs in my lifetime (up to 15 in a single trip), and have NEVER been questioned.
    Dude...totally go to the creepy pregnancy place. Dare you!!

  8. Seriously? Seriously?!

    I had the cashier at the grocery store tell me to go buy Luvs @ Target because they are so much cheaper, but that was a minor annoyance compared to what you experienced.

    Damn straight you need a drink after that. (And frankly, one drink now shouldn't be a problem either way.)

  9. God, you are awesome. I really appreciate how -- despite whatever yuckiness you are experiencing -- you find so much humor and make me actually "LOL" quite often. There are not a lot of people on the internet who do that.

    So intrigued by this fireman job of yours. WTF? Wow. But yeah, never do I crave booze more than while I am cycling. And in the days before the beta big-time. I always think about those zillions of women who get "oopsie" pregnant drunk out of their minds and tripping on drugs in Cancun or whatever and think, well geez -- why can't I have my teeny chardonnay before my progesterone shot? Yet I don't. But there's still opportunity...

    Thanks for keeping us posted. I am hoping for some surprising and good news to come your way. Thinking of you!

  10. Here's from Stupid Stork's blog.... I'm so sorry :-( *hugs* I love your writing style! Your attitude is really amazing with all you're dealing with. xo

  11. What the FUDGE.

    And I thought it was bad that I've had people say "congratulations if you are!" a couple of times (because my thinking is.. umm.. What if I'm not happy about it?).

    You should definitely say something to someone about her promoting one of those creepy places. Yick. I mean, fine if you find it on your own but considering her presentation she's going to accidentally send a confused teenager there. False advertising.

    I'm all for the tequila, btw. Anything short of heroin to get you through the next few days, I'm on board.

    1. Why would you stop short of heroin? I now have MAD injecting skillz.

  12. Stoopid Walmart chick! I'm sorry, hon. I'm so hoping this is a late implanter. xoxo

  13. OMG. Who the f would ever say that to anyone?
    If I were her manager and knew she was making ridiculously asinine comments like that to multiple paying customers, she'd be out of there.
    I was a cashier at a grocery store in high school and you just. say. NOTHING.

  14. Ugh. I really am pulling for you Io. I hope Starbuck & Apollo are just toying with you. Which is not nice, but maybe showing some genetic traits for mischief? Either way- demand your clinic do your beta tomorrow since you are paying them a lot & all...
    And I would say something about Walmart chica. That is just plain wrong, not to mention likely against their policy.
    Hang in there hon.

  15. I must look like a total bitch, because no one has ever commented on my hpt's. Or maybe it was the fact that you bought them along with crayons--maybe that said "free clinic" to her. :)

    Damn, I hope there's some hope, because I really dig the names Starbuck and Apollo.

    And how yuppie is the iPad? Spellcheck just changed "Starbuck" to the plural.

  16. I was always waiting for the day when some idiot would comment on my tests. Fortunately, my part of the midwest is not very interested in what I'm up to. :) Seriously - I have had all sorts of other conversations with cashiers, but whenever I was buying an hpt, no one said a word to me. It's good to be the unapproachable sort.

    Still holding on to the hope for you...but have fun at the zoo anyway.

  17. I hate Wal Mart! I could go on and on about this but I will spare you. I think our 2ww is a bust too. :-( Which in the words of the wonderful and beautiful Nancy, "SUCKS MONKEY BALLS!" I am still holding out hope that you and I find that elusive 2nd line.

    Sending you lots of hugs.

  18. Ugh ugh ugh. Really hoping you have some secret good news this morning that you haven't posted just to torture your long-time readers, but guessing that may not be the case. There really is nothing good to say about failed cycles. Wish you were closer so I could share the tequila.

    As for the walmart story, totally reminds me of the time that I ran over an abortion protester on my way back from the clinic ... all while just trying to buy stamps (granted post office next to abortion clinic possibly not the best set-up ever given crazy protesters). I have always been tempted to drop by one of those "free" places for an u/s, but figured they'd make me more mad than it's worth.

  19. Assuming (hope I'm wrong) that no post from you today means this morning's pee stick was not good news. So very, very sorry. Huge hug! xoxo

  20. Stupid Walmart, you should have totally just gone to the place down the street, I kid I kid. But seriously why do people feel the need to comment on your purchases? Why didn't she tell you that you could just steal free crayons from a restaurant with a kids menu? Or that they hand out free Luna bars at the local 10K event? She should really be more informed.