Thursday, July 12, 2012

Still in the game

Thanks for all the support yesterday you guys! It was nice in my drugged up haze to see people commenting and giving support.

I wasn't expecting my ER to hurt so much! They knocked me out for the actual ER but as soon as I woke up it was like I had been stabbed. I made A stop and get me the prescription for Demerol before we even went home. I arranged about thirty seven pillows on the couch, drank a few gallons of gatorade, ate a couple bowls of Kashi (more protein than an egg! I assume that means it has a lot of protein) and knocked myself out with the drugs.

I feel a lot better this morning. Still a little sharp pain, but it's less and only when I move. My stomach was churning all morning though, waiting for the call from the embryologist. I met her yesterday and she seemed really nice and promised not to pick any funky looking sperm.
At 9:30am I became convinced that she hadn't called yet because they saved the bad news for last. At 9:45 I was frantically googling "eleven eggs retrieved" and reading stories of fertilization gone wrong. (And right, but I ignored those ones as they didn't feed into my fears.)

At 10:09 she finally called. I tried to sound all normal-like on the phone.

Sorry, who is this? Oh yes, almost forgot you were going to call! Why yes, I *am* mildly interested to know how the fertilization went. I wasn't about to puke from nerves or anything, I am a mature adult who recognizes that nothing I do will change anything that happened in the lab OH GOD TELL ME TELL ME!

8 of the eggs were mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI

I am okay with this. I would have liked to have a gazillion eggs, which all fertilized and immediately started tap dancing and dividing, but seven is doable. Seven gives us a good chance to make it to transfer, maybe (hopefully) have a couple left for an FET if it doesn't work this time. I feel neither ecstatic nor devastated.

She wasn't sure yet if we would do a Day 3 or Day 5 transfer -  she's going to wait until tomorrow and check them again before she makes that decision.

Which does make me wonder - do they look like some might arrest? Can you tell at this point that some are crap? That they are ALL crap? Is she thinking we'll need Day 3 because they are all going to go to hell? ...I guess I have my new irrational thing to obsess over.


  1. 7 chances for a little Io/A! So exciting!

    And yeah, don't expect the obsessing to end anytime soon. The 2ww is pure hell and can make you a complete mental case. And WHEN (not if!) you're pregnant you'll worry about every twinge, etc.

    Thinking happy embie-growin thoughts for you!

  2. I always thought they went to a 5 day because things weren't going so well, so a 3 day would be better? I dunno, maybe that's just what I made up to make myself feel better?

    Heating pads are your friend. Even in this miserable heat we've all been having (shut up North West people).

    Regardless - grow embryoes grow, grow, grow!

  3. Congrats on making it past yet one more hurdle in this crazy time. Yeah, this part sucks, too. My clinic also has never been great about keeping me apprised on lab happenings -- I'm always having to hunt this info down.

    I love this, by the way: "neither ecstatic nor devastated" -- definitely describes my recent feelings at about this time in the cycle.

    Now I'm no expert - but in my personal experience -- I think once stuff fertilizes, you've definitely got a pretty good foot in the door. I know some folks, though, experience things going to crap too. Somehow, though, I dunno -- I have a feeling about this. You should have a good shot here.

    My clinic seems to be pushing everyone toward 5-day transfers. But it seems like so many folks also have great success with 3-day.

    Hang in there! Just wait'll you bust out the progesterone needles. Now that'll distract you from wondering what's going on in the petri dish.

  4. My first ER was extremely painful, my second one not at all. Not sure what the difference is, but all sounds normal to me. Also sounds normal that they're waiting to see how they develop to determine 3-5 day transfer. I think every doctor is different, but ours preferred to do a 4-5 day transfer, and wanted to wait as long as possible so they could pick the best quality embryos. With that said, I know lots of people that have had 3DT that ended up with babies, so try not to obsess too much about it. Yah, right. ;)

  5. 7 is good. Now they just have to go ahead and grow for you!

  6. 7 is amazing. AMAZING.

    I'm one of those online horror stories - I had one (ONE!) fertilize and it made it to transfer, and I got pregnant (it ended up being a chemical, but unrelated).

    Seven is badass.

  7. Crossing my fingers that they all grow like crazy!!

  8. That's the thing about IF- there is ALWAYS something irrational to obsess over. And generally more than one at a time. Wishing you luck. x

  9. The magnificent 7! (I couldn't resist!)
    Im glad you're feeling better. And obsession unfortunately never seems to end. We just refocus it.